I have
been suggested by many friends that I should blog about how I juggle everything
in life between working, parenting, hosting and so much more.
Thank
you, kind friends, for acknowledging that life is tough and the roles we take
on with age are tougher. I truly appreciate moments where you say things like
‘I don’t know how you do it, I come home from sitting at work all
day and I’m too pooped from just that. How you have the energy
to cook up all those things you post on Instagram?!’
As enthralling as hearing
about my life might be, I think most of the stuff I go through is really no different from so many of
my friends also experience. We all can relate to many of the same moments in life,
so I’m really hoping you all nod and agree that you share likeness of me in any
of the below situations (so I don’t feel like a complete moron).
Here in no
particular order is my attempt at laughing at life.
You
know you’re an American born working Muslim-Pakistani mom/wife/daughter/sister
when:
-
Your
child’s teacher chuckles when you groan as she gives you the note Jilly’s mom for you. Because you both know it’s yet another birthday party invite.
Another event where your kid comes home with too much sugar for his pint sized
body to handle. Another event for which you have to go buy a gift and a card and a gift bag. No you aren’t
lazy (much), and you probably should hoard these things in bulk like all those
crafty moms do, but having a full time job means no time to remember those time
saving moves. (You have no time to save time, the humor is not lost on you)
-
The
moment when your mom gushed compliments over your goat biryani and the look of
pride on her face is forever etched in your mind. Your mom doesn’t do false
compliments, this is huge and it probably ranks up higher than getting your Masters/CPA
as ‘Moments I’ll never forget’.
-
You
fall asleep on the couch after 2 episodes of Game of Thrones, only to be awaken
at 1:30am when your 2 yr old is crying in the bedroom. And you realize you
forgot to pray Isha namaaz and really mean to do it now but fall back asleep
after putting your child to bed. You totally promise God you won’t do it again,
yet you have so many Isha prayers to make up even God ain’t falling for it
anymore.
-
Some
days your child eats nutella on toast for dinner. It’s better than food being forced
in while you try to pry his mouth open. Mostly you manage to squeeze in somewhat
of a healthy meal, but some days Nutella toast wins the battle.
-
You ponder
over your chances at becoming a fashion blogging success. These hijab fashionistas
seem to really have found their niche, too bad you don’t wear a scarf and
probably wearing one just to blog about it isn’t such a great reason to start.
And also, you will probably never pose regularly for pictures in pretty
outfits, because even if you do somehow find the time your son will most likely
also be pictured tugging at your pants in every pose.
-
You
think a freshly cooked meal two times
a week is pretty commendable and if you manage to find time in your weekend
packed with birthdays/bridal showers/weddings/baby showers/couple’s get
together/girl’s night to cook a meal ahead of time it’s definitely worth
bragging about.
-
Either
you or your husband (or both) are serious addicts to websites like slickdeals,
and due to this your once fairly large apartment/home is now filled with tons
of unnecessary merchandise.
-
You
show up to work wearing one earring, because your child woke up crying before
you got to the second one and due to Mommy brain you plum forgot you had just
one in!
-
Your
child watches Sim Sim Humara (Pakistani Sesame Street) so he can learn some culture and it warms your heart to
hear him shout words like ‘Himmat’ and “Yakeeeeeen’ even though he probably has
no idea what they mean yet.
-
When
your 2 year old son says ‘bless you’ upon hearing you sneeze and you’re not
sure to be happy that he’s learning manners at daycare or ashamed that you’re
not doing a good enough job at home on emphasizing ‘Alhumdulillah’. Which then
leads you to yet again fall into depression/guilt that he spends 10 hours at
daycare and only 2 hours at home with you so of course he’ll learn ‘Bless you’
before he learns ‘Alhumdulillah’. And all of this just ends up in more
chocolate being eaten. (this time by you)
-
Your
sister and you promise each other that you won’t baby your 30+ year old son
like your mother in law does your husband. Both of you swear to never end up
this way unconsciously knowing you probably will.
-
You
would be better off buying stock in your local gym instead of having a
membership, because at least that way your monthly contributions would give you
some form of long-term profit. I’m a proud member of WoW since Dec 2009, now
don’t ask me how many times I’ve been in the past year. I tend to take 2-3
month long vacations from exercise.
-
You fervently
worked out to Youtube videos of Zumba routines the day you finally accepted you will not be going to the gym any time soon. That
was the last time Youtube was used in your home for anything other than Sim Sim
Humara or ABC Phonics.
-
Getting
out of the car and into the house without toppling over is a mini feat, because
you managed to carry: your child (who is usually trying to run free), purse,
lunch bag, child’s school bag, numerous artworks/toys, and sometimes groceries
all in your two tiny hands while climbed up 12 steps sometimes in snow, ice and
rain whilst having to go pee so
badly. Mini Feat indeed. (I suppose you could probably make two trips, but do
you really trust your toddler alone in the house? Man that’s one good toddler,
can we switch? Also, this saves time, you really just don’t want to go back out
in the cold dammit)
-
You spend
quite a bit of time on websites like Realtor.com waiting for the day your
husband gets over his ‘I don’t want to pay interest’ phase so you can call a lovely
‘4 bedroom 2.5 bath’ home. You don’t want to pay interest either, but dreaming
of being homeowners is so lovely. And you both know this phase is more about your
husband’s excuse to be the cheap Desi he is at heart.
-
You are
quite thrilled to have a ‘wellness room’ (real purpose is for breast pumping
mothers to use) in the office so you can make wudu and pray namaz at work
without your coworkers having to know or deal with that awkward moment in the
bathroom when someone walks in to see you washing your hands til your elbows.
-
Seeing the
only other Muslim coworker walk out of the wellness room around Maghrib time
and realizing he was probably using it for the same reason as you (I sure hope
he isn’t breast pumping in there!) makes you super proud that handsome single moderate
Muslim boys do exist! You immediately start plotting schemes on how to
introduce yourself and eventually get him to marry one of your single friends.
-
Even
though you try not to be vain and judge people solely based on looks you follow
Faryal Makhdoom on Instagram. Let’s be honest she’s a pretty girl of Pakistani
descent and famous by association, that’s reason enough to follow her. She may
end up having her own reality show one day and then you can say you liked her
before the rest of the world did. Jay Sean style.
-
You’ve
got the best Worst Mom Incident out of all your friends. It involves dinner
with a couple you never met before, a baby bag forgotten at home, a wailing child
stuck in a high chair with you then your husband struggling to get him out,
numerous restaurant diners staring, and the story ends with your child going
home wearing a receiving blanket wrapped like a sumo wrestler’s underwear. And
the couple still wants to be your friend. Yay for Happy endings!
-
The advent
of Pinterest has caused you and your husband to gain some serious weight in the
past two years because you can’t stop pinning all these amazing recipes!
-
Despite
stockpiling spare Paci/Binky’s, you feel like you spend half your life
searching for lost ones. God damn the day you decided to hook your child onto
this creation.
-
Sometimes
you look around at your living room/kitchen/bathroom/bedroom and secretly thank
God that your mom can’t see what a slob you have turned into. You’ve
contemplated a cleaning/cooking schedule (pinned some cute ideas on Pinterest too!)
but only wonder how long people actually stick to those.
-
You see
an adorable newborn/infant girl and make a mental note to keep her in mind as a
future daughter in law one day. Yes it’s totally disturbing since your son is
not even potty trained, but hey finding love is hard and you just want to help
your little sweet pea out!
-
You
have a whole slew of fasting days missed during your pregnancy that two years
later you still are making up. And sadly your reasoning for not doing make ups during
December (when the days were shortest and the fasts were easiest) was that the
office had too much free food and holiday parties you didn’t want to miss. Clearly
your priorities of putting food before everything else have got to change.
(She says while eating a midafternoon snack)
I think
I’ll stop now, not because I don’t have more delightful anecdotes to share with
you, but because I’m afraid you probably think I’m the laziest, weirdest, most unorganized,
disheveled mother/employee/wife/everything else. I promise I do have some great
accomplishments and strong attributes too. When I’m not totally exhausted from
all the things I’m involved in, I can be quite a pleasant person to be around
(hah!). Mostly, I am thankful for my life, albeit it is not always perfect.
Sometimes life hands me a challenge and sometimes I just make senseless mistakes,
but mostly I’ve learned that if I can walk away from an experience and laugh
about it, it’s been a good life.
So I’m
trying hard to smile with each struggle and be thankful for the times that we
get a full night’s rest to tackle the next hurdle!
