Ramadan and Eid

Growing up I definitely wished I could celebrate Christmas like the rest of my school friends. Eid was fun, but it didn't seem nearly as exciting as Christmas did. So I decided to change that for my kids. My goal with doing all these holiday activities was to encourage my children to love their own culture and religion, without feeling left out during the holidays that others around them may celebrate. We have now been doing a Ramadan Advent Calendar for two year and my son absolutely loves it! Holidays should not be only about decorating and getting gifts they should also be about the importance of our values and belief in God. With each holiday I do emphasize why we celebrate what we do. During Ramadan we explain the importance of fasting, how it benefits our body and also gives us appreciation for those who may have less than we do on a normal basis. We talk about how fasting is not just for food but for keeping away from activities we should always avoid and to redirect our focus on prayer and love for God. On Eid we talk about traditions of prophet Muhammad pbuh: going for morning Eid salaat, wearing new clothes, handing out treats and spending time with our loved ones. For Eid ul Adha we discussed the story of prophet Ibrahim pbuh, how he trusted and was so devoted to Allah swt

Crafts and Activities: masjid coloring pages, crescent/star hanging ornaments, make your own tasbeeh (prayer beads), sheep cupcake decorating party
For Others: collecting toys for new refugee children in the community, writing Eid cards to our cousins far away and baking cookies to give on Eid namaaz to our friends nearby. My kids are still very young (5, 2 and under 1), but as they grow older I do hope to continue with more altruistic activities.
Family Traditions: Praying maghrib namaaz as a family and reading our favorite Islamic books before bed. Listening to nasheeds on Spotify by Dawud Wharnsby and Yusuf Islam during car rides to school. Watching Baba Ali and Zaki videos on youtube to learn manners and stories from the Quran.

Making holidays fun for the kids really doesn't have to be expensive or a lot of hard work. I found some affordable vendors who I purchased adorable decorations from, but I also made a few trips to Michaels/dollar stores to make our own as well. I probably spent the most amount on Islamic books, but to me that was worth the cost. A great way to save on that is to do a book exchange with friends every Friday. This way your children can get exposure to new reading material without having to spend a lot.

I hope you enjoy a glimpse below into our holiday traditions. I will do a new post soon to tell you our reviews of the reading material!

Our Ramadan Advent Calendar Goodie Bags. Kids can open one bag each evening counting down to Eid, filled with treats inside.

Our nightly reading selection in honor of Ramadan/Eid. 

using the Snapchat Filter to wish all her friends!

We are big on banners in our house. This was recycled from last year, it came in a DIY banner kit from Target

Keeping busy during the day doing activities per our Rafiq and Friends guide. Rafiq was our version of Elf on a Shelf this year. Loved the book and activity cards he came with. Super cute illustrations and engaging stories.

Praying with Baba before we break our fast for the day.

Kept the Pom Poms, swapped out the banner.  Using Sweet fajr lantern template and Imaginaryart Masjid Template

Onesie by JasmineandMarigold Skirt from Amazon

coloring Eid Cards to mail to our friends. Cards from GupshupGreetings

gifts wrapped and ready to be opened after Eid prayer

Eid favors for our friends, labels courtesy of my good friend over at Gupshup Greetings

Sheep shaped cookie cutter purchased via Etsy to bring these adorable Eid ul Adha cookies to life!

Eid Trifle for our Chand Raat party, yes I know the D is off centered. Its bothering me too! 

We attended a Make your Own Sheep cupcake party!

Masjid Ramadan coloring page via Imaginairyart

"Sabr" pronounced like "summer" but with a B.

Arabic/Urdu for 'Patience'.

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never runs out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.” - 40 Rules of Love, Elif Shafaq

I find myself constantly reminding my two-year-old to wait,  "sabr". He's always asking me for things, usually 'needing' them immediately. And sometimes I just can't give them to him, because for one reason or another it's not available right away. I'm trying so hard to teach him that he can't always have things how he wants them when he wants them, but I just learned a real life lesson on it myself.

I had a bit of a health scare and all I could do was wait it out. I was in a lot of pain, going through different tests and all I could do was wait for those results to come in and tell me that everything was normal, yet the hardest thing for me was the physical pain (which was pretty bad!) but the agony of waiting.

Sometimes when we're being told to wait it feels as if we're being punished for doing something wrong. We don't understand what it is we did to deserve this and why we are having to suffer a punishment. The reality is that we're not being scolded or disciplined. We are simply being taught a lesson that we really need to learn and that is, in my case, to be patient.

I was taught (yet again) that you MUST have faith above all. Have faith that things are meant for a reason and they will occur as they are destined. As much as you stress, fret, and agonize nothing will change the outcome. So, learn to do your best and then leave it up to fate.

It's been a tough couple of weeks. Funny thing is it feels like a century since my husband has been gone, but in reality it's only been two months and this month sure has felt extremely long.

 Remember that chronic worrier girl I talked about earlier? She had been back big time. I was getting impatient and ungrateful. I was focused on everything being so negative. How upset I was about all the change to come in my life and how lonely I felt without my husband. I worried that I had so much to get done and yet felt nothing was progressing. I was totally not appreciating having my family nearby to make things easier. This experience taught me how much I seriously MUST value all the loving people I have in my life. Additionally, I learned that I have an extremely difficult time asking for help. I also learned that I don’t always consciously know when I’m stressed out, but stress and my body have a terrible relationship.

It wasn't even the part of being a full-time working mother to an energetic toddler trying handling all the single-parent duties. Nor was it about trying to sell all our furniture and items or researching apartments in our new town OR contacting movers and setting up meetings to get an estimate.

It was truly just the suffering of being impatient and allowing myself to become frustrated at everything not  progressing as I wanted it to that affected my health. It is pretty amazing how when we are not strong internally our body reflects it externally, leaving us no choice but to slow down and focus on what is most important.

Before all that happened, I remember thinking how spiritually distant I felt and I actually had a moment where I thought to myself ‘God I promise I’m going to fix this when I have time; once I’m done w this crazy period in life I’ll make more effort to get back that spiritual mojo, but right now I just can’t focus on it. I've got too much going on’. WELL, God had some other plans. 

I was reminded to have faith that God is on your side. He sometimes tests you and pushes you to your limit and inevitably that happens when you think you least need it. Truth is, it happens because you need it pretty bad.  I was forced to stay home, to rest, and to ask for help. During those horrible days of waiting for test results where I couldn't tell my family, because I didn't want to worry them unnecessarily I reconnected with an old friend who helped me in so many ways she will never know. We were both going through some difficult moments and the irony of how we were brought together at a time when we could support of each other was amazing. We both encouraged each other to have faith. 

Life will never be void of it's troubles, everyone has their own. You cannot wait for the perfect moment to find time for your soul. Especially as you grow older, more and more responsibilities demand your attention, grabbing you away. Find even small bits to feed your soul each day; to be thankful, to be aware of His immensity and know that you run on His time. He does not run on yours. Acknowledge that you and your troubles are only a small portion of the immensity.

via Tumblr

I forgot to mention that Ramadan started a midst all this change. With everything going on Ali hasn't been his usual self either. Since iftar time is so late, he's going to bed later than his usual bedtime and he's also missing his father a lot; all of which leads to him being clingy, cranky and putting up a fight about pretty much everything. Again, it isn't always easy. I'm learning easy just isn't in the books for me right now. And that is okay, but when I do encounter moments of 'easy' I am quick to say a silent thank you. We've wrapped up our apartment and our last few weeks in NJ are being spent at my parents. I am really enjoying being home with my family, plus Ali loves the constant attention from his Nani Nana and Khala. And while I sometimes can't help worry that they're spoiling him rotten (lol they really are!), the way I see it he's building some of the best memories of his childhood right now. Memories he will grow up and cherish, possibly when the people in those memories may be very far away. :( So I've been tired, lacking food, sleep and energy. But the best part of all this struggle during Ramadan is that the one thing I'm not lacking is spirit.

 I Eat Pork During Ramadan Light T-Shirt (Google Affiliate Ad)
Ramadan Mubarak Rectangle Magnet (Google Affiliate Ad) 

Ramadan

This holiday is one of my favorites. Who am I kidding I love all holidays, to me they are just another reason to celebrate the life God has given us. Ramadan is probably the hardest holiday to love at times. Moments when your empty stomach is rumbling, your energy level is at its lowest and you can't help but constantly calculate the hours and minutes left until you can finally bite into that kajoor (date) is when you wonder why God does this to you. But as soon as you taste that sweet chewy little piece packed with so much nourishment you are prepared to do it all over again. It makes you feel somehow connected to countless Muslims who break their fast in the same manner, following the Sunnah of the prophet who taught us this ritual. So much a tiny little kajoor can do.

This year is our third year handing out Ramadan kajoor baskets to our family and close friends. We like starting the month with it. We like the thought of our loved ones breaking their fasts with dates that we prepared for them. People always hand out presents on Eid, birthdays, weddings, and other joyous occasions; but why not give a gift to celebrate the start of a month that is such an important pillar of our religion?

Ramadan is a time to reflect, repent, and refresh. I love it deeply for the spiritual cleansing it brings. You never appreciate sleep until you have to wake up at 3 am for sehri. You never appreciate food until you have to go 14 hours a day without it. You wouldn't bother donating to the needy until you are told each good deed is worth 10 this month. You never make an effort to read religious scriptures until Shaitan is ridden from your hearts. On the surface we do all these acts this month because we are obligated and encouraged to, but deep inside the soul sings and soars this month. You are finally listening to its yearnings. There is a sort of pleasure that comes from all the struggling we do this month that only the soul can revel in. It's what keeps it alive as we quell it with worldly desires during the remaining months.

This Ramadan please remember to nourish the soul as you starve your body!!

Here are pictures of how we prepared our Ramadan baskets to help you start your own.

  

And so it begins..

The acheivements made by scientists and researchers have me in awe of where our world has gone in such a short period of time. 1400 years ago men stood outside their homes to determine the birth of the new moon. Today the same act can be approximated with less than zero percent error several months (if not years) in advance. If the location and distance of objects as far as Pluto can be determined (which can no longer be referred to as a planet due to more recent discovery), then gathering information about the earth's satellite seem like child's play.

Yet, it seems no matter how far modern technology will take us some old fashion folk still insist that relying on traditional methods is the correct path of order. Despite advanced tools and gadgets that can take probes to mars, travel deep into the depths of the ocean, give a woman a bionic arm, lead conjoint twins to be separated and live healthy lives; there are still some men (with rather long beards) who are firm in believing that all such tools are mere workings of shaitan. Or that's what they are showing when they can't bring themselves to accept the achievements of today's world.

What I ask is HOW is it possible that a religion of such deep roots, a strong message, which was brought into the public by such an extremely wise man, have bred such extremely disorganized, stubborn and foolish men of the Islam I follow today? I almost feel disgraced to be led by instituations that call themselves the "Circles" and "Societys" of Islam when they cannot determine a simple date of the month's beginning and most importantly, do it with UNITY.

Why must we wait until 10 hours before the next day to determine whether it is a new month or not? You never doubt that July will have 31 days or that November will have 30, do you? Even if it is a lunar calendar and the dates change annually that is no reason for dispute. Do you ever see the Jewish population in a baffled state the night before to determine when Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur will be? Why are calendars published years in advance if the topic will be debated until the final moment? And if it must be debated until the final moment, then can the entire population have one agreed decision?

What is this nonsense of "the arabs are wrong to start today, we refuse to follow them because we are stubborn and cannot come to a common consensus so we insist on doing it tomorrow. Not because we're actually right but because of course we can never be wrong". If this selfish bullheadedness were only affecting the men with long beards then I could personally care less. But the sad truth is that their decisions do have repercussions effecting the entire Muslim community.

What angers me is that these small disputes and disorganized events that occur year after year collectively contribute in creating a horrible image of Islam portrayed to the rest of the world. If we cannot value each other's opinions then how can we expect anyone else to? Why must every Muslim constantly battle one another over the start of Ramadan? Why does one masjid have to go against the decisions and declarations of another? Do they not realize that their political policies will leave our religion in a far worst state of ignorance than it already is in? All it does is make us seem like fools for following old men with long beards and bad accents who can't even get their people to unify together in celebrating this truly significant month.

What I pray for is that the Muslim youth of today (would stop going to Buda bar and Abyss) gather some sense of responsibility and value the knowledge that God has bestowed upon us. That they handle matters so that my daughter doesn't have to sit online 25 years from now and rant that she is sick of never knowing when Eid is or when Ramzaan start. So that we finally unify, not just in picking one damn day to celebrate together, but in accepting our differences, being receptive of each other's opinions and thoughts and truly working towards a common goal for the benefit of our religion. THEN maybe I will be proud of calling myself a part of this society. I'm tremendously proud of being a Muslim but the shameful acts of the "scholars" I'm told to follow make that a difficult pride to express.