Happy Friday!

It's finally here! This was a tough/tiring week with the hubs gone out of state for a work trip. Ali and I missed him a lot. It was a bit scary being home alone in a new place too, and Ali's elmo toys randomly singing in the middle of the night didn't help that either!! Needless to say, we're thrilled he's back now and we have some fun activities planned for the weekend with a pool party and a trip to the zoo being a few of the highlights. Hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Also, I found this great new app for FREE at the App Store called Rhonna Designs.  

Thought I'd give you a view of what it looks like when I step out of my place:

This little guy and his buddies love hanging around outside our door. We call him Kermie. Or maybe just I do.

Since it rains almost daily here, we see a lot of rainbows. It's hard to tell but this was a double rainbow, my first time seeing one!

For my Girls

Via Pinterest

From articles my friends are sharing on Facebook here and here, to articles that pop up on my Google News Top reads here, this topic of Self Love and especially the effects of social media has been in my face constantly. And when I saw the picture below on my Tumblr dashboard I could no longer avoid talking about this issue that I can’t take my mind off.   

So girls, I fully anticipate that after you read what I'm about to say some of you will complain and talk to friends/sisters/Twitter followers how this random chick with a cheesy blog thinks she’s all high and mighty preaching to others. I am 110% including myself in the previous sentence of being someone who has done that. But what I'm going to say, I beg you to read with an open mind.

Women are by nature extremely kindhearted, emotional and loving/nurturing. But also, they are often keen on perfectionism, organization and competition. To me all those qualities make up a really wonderful person. But most often we women use these positive traits in the wrong way. 

 

The one common factor I’ve seen across all females regardless of culture or age is an incredible ability to protect and care for everyone else we love. But, often we neglect our own self to such an extreme that it becomes self-deprecating. We do this because we want to avoid being selfish but the irony is you MUST to love yourself to truly love another. And loving yourself is not the same thing as being selfish. If you are genuinely content in your existence it improves your attitude in life, which allows you to become a positive force in the lives of everyone else around you.

Due to our nature, we tend to fixate on having all elements of our life be perfect. When the reality is that we and our lives are far from it. All this perfectionism if not handled moderately begins to create an overcritical self-view. I am not saying it's a bad thing to hold yourself to a higher standard and not accept mediocrity, but be wary not to allow this notion to run so wild that it becomes detrimental to your wellbeing. 

Whether it’s physical appearance, academics or personal ability we can get very disparaging and just plain mean with ourselves! Especially when it is something we can’t totally control, it frustrates us even more. The most common mistake we make when frustrated with ourselves is that we become competitive with others. Competition and perfection are both great traits, in moderation. Women in their lack of self-love, take it to the next level.

 

Via Google Image

Time for some damage control: 

Can you truthfully tell me you have never looked at another girl’s Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter/Facebook/Blog picture and felt envious of her: body, kids, vacations, husband, career, home etc? Was that envy heightened and negatively affected you if those pictures were seen in a moment where you were feeling down about your own life? I’m not saying the blame is on social media because it prompts these feelings, I’m also not saying that social media is entirely blameless. I am saying that we control how much we allow it to affect us. It’s natural to feel envy. When you allow that envy to make yourself feel worse about your own life that is wrong. And when you allow that envy to turn into plain ol' evil that is very wrong! Don't allow the success of someone else to damper your own, use it as fuel for inspiration.

Do you like to ‘keep it real’ and be vocal about your honest thoughts about others all the time? Do your truthful words actually help bring any positive change; are they ‘honestly’ worth saying? If you have to wonder if maybe it’d be better to keep your honesty to yourself for the sake of not hurting another person’s feelings then you’re probably right. Even if it isn't hurting another person and it's just for the sake of conversation, all this critical chatter starts accumulating overtime and it affects your mindset and people's perspective of you. It creates a world where we are constantly scrutinizing each other and never celebrating. If someone is rocking an hairdo you aren't crazy for make an effort to ignore it."If you have nothing nice to say, it's better to say nothing at all." On the other hand find every opportunity to compliment something you DO like!

Do you allow life situations to stress you out? So much that you lose sleep or lash out at others in your life? Sometimes others instigate you, but other times it’s really just emotions that get the best of you making the situation worst. You are not your emotions. Your emotions are real and do occur, but they do not control you.  If you need a moment, take it. Breathe. B R E A T H E. it’s something so simple that has such a profound result. And it’s funny how often we forget to do it. 

Do you like watching reality TV, creating a love/hate relationship with characters portrayed? You can’t help but feel normal beside their catty/crazy personalities. Their lavish unattainable/ unsustainable lifestyles at times leave you wishing you had all that and how you’d handle it with less drama no doubt. Enter unhealthy envy, greed, bitterness, frustration with your own less than perfect life and of course judging other people. I used to be a religious Kardashians viewer. I even got hooked on Mob Wives! It was just too much once I truly saw the unconscious effect on my personality. We are lead by media to believe that an empowered woman is vocal about all her thoughts and lets all her emotions be put on display. Suddenly divas, drama queens and b*tches are words women are okay with using to describe themselves. I realized I no longer want media to dictate who I am to be. Not even the person who judges others for choosing to live differently. If something doesn’t agree with you, remove yourself from it.You will respect yourself for it and others will too.

This past December I participated in a hormone/mood study conducted online. For two months we had to keep a daily log of our mood and also any experiences that affected it. During this time the group leader would send out weekly emails with positive messages about being kind with ourselves, and when our emotions were roaring how we should repeat a mental chant of “I am not my emotions, I will not let this defeat me.” 

Personally, keeping the log didn’t show me anything new. (Yes, I’m more sensitive around my period, aren't we all?) What it did was make me more conscious of my actions. Sort like, "yes I have fluctuations in my hormones which affect my emotions. However, I will not allow my emotions to dictate my mood. I will not allow them to define who I am." Keep a personal journal, it promotes self-reflection. After the study ended, I felt besides being more aware of my emotions what really changed me was the moment I decided I needed to change. Half the task of change is realizing when it is necessary.  You won’t change yourself, your attitude, or your outlook until you resolve to do it.

 

It is so easy to fall into a rut of bitter unhappiness; especially with all the stories in the news thrown at us it seems almost impossible to avoid it. Social media plays a big hand in our perspective because of the immense amount of information it provides us with. But before we turn to it to judge, compete or hate, we need to make a promise to ourselves:

We MUST be merciful. 

We MUST accept our flaws and celebrate our victories. 

We must NOT bring down ourselves OR others. 

We must resolve to become promoters of happiness. 

Only another woman knows what it feels like to go through cycles of hormonal change and the pains that come with it. Only another woman truly understands the HOW strongly we feel emotions or the simultaneous joy/fear of motherhood. Only a woman. So then why do we judge, berate and hold malice towards each other? The only way we can teach our young girls about positive self image, respect and love is if we apply it first ourselves.

Via Tumblr

If only we could become aware of the immense amount of power our existence actually holds, we would be able to channel our competitive nature into a craft rather than weapon. Our perfectionism would drive out so much amazing work into this world that there would be no room left for hate, violence, and prejudice. Love yourself, love your sister. We all know the difficulties that come with life, make it easy on yourself and each other. Compliment, encourage, forgive faults and look past grudges. There is so much beauty to be brought into this life, leave no room for anything else.

I leave you with my absolute favorite quote of all time: 

Via Google Image

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Türkiye

So it’s been awhile! After my last post, we went on a absolutely spontaneous week long dream vacation! The afternoon of Valentine’s day I got a Gchat message from the husband asking if I was up for visiting Turkey? My reaction was something like “What the?! You better not be joking with me!!!” Before I knew it I was off getting my passport renewed and 3 days later sitting in Istanbul!!!

 

View of Blue Mosque from the inside courtyard

We visited Istanbul, Antalya and Pamukkale (Hieropolis). Along the way we also drove through parts of Taksim and Denizli. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about my trip. The people I encountered were some of the kindest I have ever met. The food was lovely, we had 7 days of eating kebabs, with only 1 experience that did not taste amazing. As far as travel around the country goes, I quite enjoyed the ease of the metro which traveled around most of Istanbul and allowed us as tourist to easily move through the city without much knowledge of the language/area. We took a bus to the airport for our flight to Antalya, we mistakenly booked the flight out of Sabiha Gökçen airport which is in a far part of Istanbul so our ride on the Havatas bus to the airport was longer than our flight itself!

Suggestion: Get a week long or full day pass for the metro so you can easily hop on or off while sightseeing in Istanbul. And when booking local flights to other regions within the country, make sure to book to/from Ataturk airport because the amount you pay in taxis/bus fare to get to the farther airport will end up costing the same.

Roman Columns in Hieropolis

We flew into Antalya on a 1 hour flight and rented a car to drive 3 hours to Pamukkale. Renting a car was a great decision in Antalya since it is not as walkable as Istanbul. The only advice about renting a car I have is: Get a GPS! We used a map thinking we could figure it out relatively easily. But with no knowledge of the Turkish language and the fact that Turkey doesn’t seem to be big on the use of street signs  as commonly as in the US, we wish we hadn’t chose to be explorers!  It was a fun exploration nonetheless.




Reasons why Turkey is an Ideal vacation spot:

It’s SO romantic! Maybe it’s all the historical architecture around you in Istanbul, or the adorable cobblestone roads and buildings reminiscent of Italy/Greece in Antalya, but everywhere we went we saw people of all ages cuddling up in corners or walking hand in hand with infectious smiles and a twinkle in their eye. Honestly, just the sight of the sun glistening down on the deep cyan Mediterranean sea was enough to set the mood! It’s the perfect place for honeymooning!

In Istanbul, you have thousands of years of history all in a 5 minute radius of each other. We saw the Blue Mosque, Hippodrome, Hagia Sophia, Topkapi Palace and Bascilia Cistern all in 1 day, and we still had time leftover to make a quick trip on the metro down to the Grand Bazaar!

Fresco of Jesus inside Hagia Sophia from the Roman/Byzantine Era

If finding amazing knock offs is your thing, then you have to hit the Grand Bazaar! It’s like going to China Town but no shady back doors or rooms, it’s all right in front of you! Tory Burch, Hermes, Chanel, Celine, LV. Basically, you name it and they had it. And best part was the quality. Everything was all 100% genuine leather, some of the best imitation boot and bags I’ve ever seen. But apart from replicas there is SO much more. Ornate lamps, luxurious hand-woven rugs and tons of small trinket, it’s like candy for the eyes! Expect to spend an entire day shopping and exploring the markets (both Spice and Grand Markets can be done in 1 day) because they are enormous and you can easily get lost in the maze of streets and pathways. Suggestion: Brush up on your bargaining skills and pack an empty duffle bag to bring back tons of goodies!

Assortment of Herbal Teas inside the Spice Bazaar

It’s relatively cheap. We went during off season, towards the end of February. Round trip tickets for 2 adults 1 child came to US$1,200, that’s cheaper than a trip we made out to California! Both of us being nerdy accountants meant we kept a tab on costs. Due to the currency conversion rate hotel stay is cheaper too. You can stay in affordable hostel type hotels for as low as $30/night in Istanbul, we paid $70 at a classy place in Antalya but found the cheaper one just as clean/safe/friendly. Since you’re eating out a lot, food cost does add up. The main thing we noticed was if we ate at Burger King/McDonald’s the prices were about the same, but local food vendors or even nice restaurants were still cheaper than dining out in the US. Adding up museum admissions, meals, lodging, metro fees (we used it more as we had a toddler, young singles can easily walk and save on that expense), shopping (depending on how much/little you buy in souvenirs) a 7 day trip for two + child is easily doable within US$2-3K. That is a steal for a honeymoon trip or a trip to any European country where you get to do sightseeing, relaxing, tons of eating and a good amount of shopping.

Lastly, If you’re Muslim and keep to eating only zabihah halal meats, then obviously dining out in Turkey is a nice change with not having to worry about limiting your choices to seafood only! And if you have not been properly introduced to an Iskender kabab, there is no better place :)

Natural hot springs in Pamukkale, used by ancient roman societies as luxurious baths

Amphitheater in Hieropolis

In deciding how to spend your time in Turkey, I would say 3 days are sufficient for enjoying Istanbul and leaving you with ample time to check out other cities which are definitely worth seeing. Places like Bursa, Cappadocia, Pamukkale and Antalya to name a few, are all full of beautiful landscapes and most of them are ancient Roman or Ottoman historical locations. Local flights aren’t very expensive or even a short ferry trip to do a one day excursion in Bursa is a great idea.
I now believe Italy and Greece, while still beautiful, are totally over hyped. Turkey really is the ideal tourist spot due to: the close proximity of all the historic sites in Istanbul, ancient cities like Pamukkale give view to amphitheaters, columns, hot springs, and ancient Roman lifestyle and you can soak in Mediterranean sunshine in Antalya. Also, since it’s not on the Euro currency it’s relatively cheaper than most other countries in Europe.

The main impression I took away from my trip was that Turkey contained the essential theme I wish to see in other countries (especially Muslim countries) of modesty while remaining moderate yet modern. My husband jokingly remarked that perhaps it’s the ‘Sufi vibes’ of this region that allows everyone to be so tolerate. I think he was on to something. We saw all types of people; Muslims/Non-Muslims who smoke, who drank, who dressed immodestly and they were living peacefully right alongside Muslims who donned hijabs and those who prayed in the mosques. We even saw a hijab clad female smoking a cigarette with no ‘haram police’ on her tail! Now that was a surprise!


Also, you hear of Europe being unsafe or of American tourist being treated poorly in some parts of the world, yet we were treated with so much warmth and kindness! Literally throughout the hustle and bustle of the Grand bazaar I found not a single crabby shopkeeper in a bad mood, they all greeted us with bright smiles. Even when my 2 year old would drop items off their shelves they did not show irritation. A few gave him toys, even when we were not buying anything from their shop. In fact, I was convinced that either my child was the cutest creature on the planet or Turkish people were severely deprived of toddlers, because we had SO many people like physically stop the stroller to reach down and kiss or play with him. Even the residents were so patient and helpful towards tourists, it was a rare sight to see after being used to the behavior found in the New York metropolitan area. Despite all the different types of people around, everyone was respectful of the religious sites, and you can sense a strong value of culture among the people. Turkey had the fashion sense and stunning sights of Europe with taste of Asian flavors and hospitality.

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