Ramadan and Eid

Growing up I definitely wished I could celebrate Christmas like the rest of my school friends. Eid was fun, but it didn't seem nearly as exciting as Christmas did. So I decided to change that for my kids. My goal with doing all these holiday activities was to encourage my children to love their own culture and religion, without feeling left out during the holidays that others around them may celebrate. We have now been doing a Ramadan Advent Calendar for two year and my son absolutely loves it! Holidays should not be only about decorating and getting gifts they should also be about the importance of our values and belief in God. With each holiday I do emphasize why we celebrate what we do. During Ramadan we explain the importance of fasting, how it benefits our body and also gives us appreciation for those who may have less than we do on a normal basis. We talk about how fasting is not just for food but for keeping away from activities we should always avoid and to redirect our focus on prayer and love for God. On Eid we talk about traditions of prophet Muhammad pbuh: going for morning Eid salaat, wearing new clothes, handing out treats and spending time with our loved ones. For Eid ul Adha we discussed the story of prophet Ibrahim pbuh, how he trusted and was so devoted to Allah swt

Crafts and Activities: masjid coloring pages, crescent/star hanging ornaments, make your own tasbeeh (prayer beads), sheep cupcake decorating party
For Others: collecting toys for new refugee children in the community, writing Eid cards to our cousins far away and baking cookies to give on Eid namaaz to our friends nearby. My kids are still very young (5, 2 and under 1), but as they grow older I do hope to continue with more altruistic activities.
Family Traditions: Praying maghrib namaaz as a family and reading our favorite Islamic books before bed. Listening to nasheeds on Spotify by Dawud Wharnsby and Yusuf Islam during car rides to school. Watching Baba Ali and Zaki videos on youtube to learn manners and stories from the Quran.

Making holidays fun for the kids really doesn't have to be expensive or a lot of hard work. I found some affordable vendors who I purchased adorable decorations from, but I also made a few trips to Michaels/dollar stores to make our own as well. I probably spent the most amount on Islamic books, but to me that was worth the cost. A great way to save on that is to do a book exchange with friends every Friday. This way your children can get exposure to new reading material without having to spend a lot.

I hope you enjoy a glimpse below into our holiday traditions. I will do a new post soon to tell you our reviews of the reading material!

Our Ramadan Advent Calendar Goodie Bags. Kids can open one bag each evening counting down to Eid, filled with treats inside.

Our nightly reading selection in honor of Ramadan/Eid. 

using the Snapchat Filter to wish all her friends!

We are big on banners in our house. This was recycled from last year, it came in a DIY banner kit from Target

Keeping busy during the day doing activities per our Rafiq and Friends guide. Rafiq was our version of Elf on a Shelf this year. Loved the book and activity cards he came with. Super cute illustrations and engaging stories.

Praying with Baba before we break our fast for the day.

Kept the Pom Poms, swapped out the banner.  Using Sweet fajr lantern template and Imaginaryart Masjid Template

Onesie by JasmineandMarigold Skirt from Amazon

coloring Eid Cards to mail to our friends. Cards from GupshupGreetings

gifts wrapped and ready to be opened after Eid prayer

Eid favors for our friends, labels courtesy of my good friend over at Gupshup Greetings

Sheep shaped cookie cutter purchased via Etsy to bring these adorable Eid ul Adha cookies to life!

Eid Trifle for our Chand Raat party, yes I know the D is off centered. Its bothering me too! 

We attended a Make your Own Sheep cupcake party!

Masjid Ramadan coloring page via Imaginairyart

Finding Me.

One of the personal goals I had set for myself recently was to get more in touch with my inner self. Marriage, motherhood, a job; they all sort of cloud us with daily responsibilities and as much as that self defines our being so does the self that existed prior to all those roles/duties.

Back at the end of June, in my attempt to rid our place of unnecessary items, I convinced my mom to also empty out her attic so we could do a joint garage sale.The best thing to come out of the sale was that we found many old items brimmed with precious memories.

I felt like a treasure hunter who had uncovered a goldmine in those boxes and boxes of old pictures, flooding back memories of my cheerful childhood. I found old scrapbooks and slam books from middle school, stirring up memories of 7th grade where my best friends and I would pass back and forth a composition book filled with our daily woes. Woes that seem so silly now. The irony will never escape me of how we came upon that past which so quietly sat up in the attic for years, just in time for me to say goodbye. All owed to that useless garage sale, how I owe it so much.

My sister also found my old school agenda books and told me I had a creepy obsession with documenting every single day of my life. Literally, I would write down what we did everyday throughout the summer. I had been doing this on and off since I probably learned how to write in 1st-2nd grade.

It made me realize that I'm someone who truly cherishes memories a lot. I love writing them down, even the daily mundane things we did as a way to capture it. To me, the 'now' was so special I was certain I would come back to it one day in the future and be thankful for everything I wrote down. We all love to glorify the past, in our mind it becomes nothing short of rosy. Memories of high school days, college life and those early years of marriage pre-parenthood; thinking back to those times we're left with a glazed look and a nostalgic grin. What I'm realizing now is that my past, these past 18 years of life in this town has truly been a memory that I will not over glorify, it is a memory I cannot cherish enough!

It's time to say goodbye to a massive chapter in my Life book. Our apartment has been emptied, keys turned over.  Meanwhile, mail has already started arriving at our new address and boxes have been moved in eagerly awaiting their owners. For the past two months I haven't allowed myself to be consumed with the reality of how quickly this chapter was ending. I couldn't deal with it, I had an apartment to pack up, full time job to perform, movers to contact, and a two year old to appease among all these changes. Now, with my IPhone reminder telling me we have 5 days 7 hours and 45 mins until we officially leave NJ I have decided to allow myself to feel reality. 

I'm leaving behind not just my family and close friends who I will severely struggle to live without, I'm leaving behind everything I've ever known. Everything that made me who I am. I'm grateful to have had the past few months to appreciate these 'good old times', to be given the opportunity for closure and experience immense love from so many of the amazing people I am fortunate to call my own. As I  wonder what this next chapter has in store for us, my heart aches for all that I leave behind.

 I know I will march on and so will this place without me. While we will go on living and doing what we do,  I also know both of us will never be the same. Our past is forever intertwined, and so are we.

All images via Google

Türkiye

So it’s been awhile! After my last post, we went on a absolutely spontaneous week long dream vacation! The afternoon of Valentine’s day I got a Gchat message from the husband asking if I was up for visiting Turkey? My reaction was something like “What the?! You better not be joking with me!!!” Before I knew it I was off getting my passport renewed and 3 days later sitting in Istanbul!!!

 

View of Blue Mosque from the inside courtyard

We visited Istanbul, Antalya and Pamukkale (Hieropolis). Along the way we also drove through parts of Taksim and Denizli. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about my trip. The people I encountered were some of the kindest I have ever met. The food was lovely, we had 7 days of eating kebabs, with only 1 experience that did not taste amazing. As far as travel around the country goes, I quite enjoyed the ease of the metro which traveled around most of Istanbul and allowed us as tourist to easily move through the city without much knowledge of the language/area. We took a bus to the airport for our flight to Antalya, we mistakenly booked the flight out of Sabiha Gökçen airport which is in a far part of Istanbul so our ride on the Havatas bus to the airport was longer than our flight itself!

Suggestion: Get a week long or full day pass for the metro so you can easily hop on or off while sightseeing in Istanbul. And when booking local flights to other regions within the country, make sure to book to/from Ataturk airport because the amount you pay in taxis/bus fare to get to the farther airport will end up costing the same.

Roman Columns in Hieropolis

We flew into Antalya on a 1 hour flight and rented a car to drive 3 hours to Pamukkale. Renting a car was a great decision in Antalya since it is not as walkable as Istanbul. The only advice about renting a car I have is: Get a GPS! We used a map thinking we could figure it out relatively easily. But with no knowledge of the Turkish language and the fact that Turkey doesn’t seem to be big on the use of street signs  as commonly as in the US, we wish we hadn’t chose to be explorers!  It was a fun exploration nonetheless.




Reasons why Turkey is an Ideal vacation spot:

It’s SO romantic! Maybe it’s all the historical architecture around you in Istanbul, or the adorable cobblestone roads and buildings reminiscent of Italy/Greece in Antalya, but everywhere we went we saw people of all ages cuddling up in corners or walking hand in hand with infectious smiles and a twinkle in their eye. Honestly, just the sight of the sun glistening down on the deep cyan Mediterranean sea was enough to set the mood! It’s the perfect place for honeymooning!

In Istanbul, you have thousands of years of history all in a 5 minute radius of each other. We saw the Blue Mosque, Hippodrome, Hagia Sophia, Topkapi Palace and Bascilia Cistern all in 1 day, and we still had time leftover to make a quick trip on the metro down to the Grand Bazaar!

Fresco of Jesus inside Hagia Sophia from the Roman/Byzantine Era

If finding amazing knock offs is your thing, then you have to hit the Grand Bazaar! It’s like going to China Town but no shady back doors or rooms, it’s all right in front of you! Tory Burch, Hermes, Chanel, Celine, LV. Basically, you name it and they had it. And best part was the quality. Everything was all 100% genuine leather, some of the best imitation boot and bags I’ve ever seen. But apart from replicas there is SO much more. Ornate lamps, luxurious hand-woven rugs and tons of small trinket, it’s like candy for the eyes! Expect to spend an entire day shopping and exploring the markets (both Spice and Grand Markets can be done in 1 day) because they are enormous and you can easily get lost in the maze of streets and pathways. Suggestion: Brush up on your bargaining skills and pack an empty duffle bag to bring back tons of goodies!

Assortment of Herbal Teas inside the Spice Bazaar

It’s relatively cheap. We went during off season, towards the end of February. Round trip tickets for 2 adults 1 child came to US$1,200, that’s cheaper than a trip we made out to California! Both of us being nerdy accountants meant we kept a tab on costs. Due to the currency conversion rate hotel stay is cheaper too. You can stay in affordable hostel type hotels for as low as $30/night in Istanbul, we paid $70 at a classy place in Antalya but found the cheaper one just as clean/safe/friendly. Since you’re eating out a lot, food cost does add up. The main thing we noticed was if we ate at Burger King/McDonald’s the prices were about the same, but local food vendors or even nice restaurants were still cheaper than dining out in the US. Adding up museum admissions, meals, lodging, metro fees (we used it more as we had a toddler, young singles can easily walk and save on that expense), shopping (depending on how much/little you buy in souvenirs) a 7 day trip for two + child is easily doable within US$2-3K. That is a steal for a honeymoon trip or a trip to any European country where you get to do sightseeing, relaxing, tons of eating and a good amount of shopping.

Lastly, If you’re Muslim and keep to eating only zabihah halal meats, then obviously dining out in Turkey is a nice change with not having to worry about limiting your choices to seafood only! And if you have not been properly introduced to an Iskender kabab, there is no better place :)

Natural hot springs in Pamukkale, used by ancient roman societies as luxurious baths

Amphitheater in Hieropolis

In deciding how to spend your time in Turkey, I would say 3 days are sufficient for enjoying Istanbul and leaving you with ample time to check out other cities which are definitely worth seeing. Places like Bursa, Cappadocia, Pamukkale and Antalya to name a few, are all full of beautiful landscapes and most of them are ancient Roman or Ottoman historical locations. Local flights aren’t very expensive or even a short ferry trip to do a one day excursion in Bursa is a great idea.
I now believe Italy and Greece, while still beautiful, are totally over hyped. Turkey really is the ideal tourist spot due to: the close proximity of all the historic sites in Istanbul, ancient cities like Pamukkale give view to amphitheaters, columns, hot springs, and ancient Roman lifestyle and you can soak in Mediterranean sunshine in Antalya. Also, since it’s not on the Euro currency it’s relatively cheaper than most other countries in Europe.

The main impression I took away from my trip was that Turkey contained the essential theme I wish to see in other countries (especially Muslim countries) of modesty while remaining moderate yet modern. My husband jokingly remarked that perhaps it’s the ‘Sufi vibes’ of this region that allows everyone to be so tolerate. I think he was on to something. We saw all types of people; Muslims/Non-Muslims who smoke, who drank, who dressed immodestly and they were living peacefully right alongside Muslims who donned hijabs and those who prayed in the mosques. We even saw a hijab clad female smoking a cigarette with no ‘haram police’ on her tail! Now that was a surprise!


Also, you hear of Europe being unsafe or of American tourist being treated poorly in some parts of the world, yet we were treated with so much warmth and kindness! Literally throughout the hustle and bustle of the Grand bazaar I found not a single crabby shopkeeper in a bad mood, they all greeted us with bright smiles. Even when my 2 year old would drop items off their shelves they did not show irritation. A few gave him toys, even when we were not buying anything from their shop. In fact, I was convinced that either my child was the cutest creature on the planet or Turkish people were severely deprived of toddlers, because we had SO many people like physically stop the stroller to reach down and kiss or play with him. Even the residents were so patient and helpful towards tourists, it was a rare sight to see after being used to the behavior found in the New York metropolitan area. Despite all the different types of people around, everyone was respectful of the religious sites, and you can sense a strong value of culture among the people. Turkey had the fashion sense and stunning sights of Europe with taste of Asian flavors and hospitality.

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Eid Milad un Nabi Mubarak!

In an authentic hadith from both Bukhari and Muslim, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you believes until he loves me more than he loves his children, his parents, and all people.”

In another Bukhari hadith he said: “None of you believes until he loves me more than he loves himself” and Sayyidina `Umar said: “O Prophet, I love you more than myself.”

We shower with love our children, parents and ourselves at every birthday, how can we not honor our Beloved Nabi on the day of his birth? 

After your mother’s death will you forget her birthday or death anniversary? For all that she taught you and all that she gave you, will you not take this day to remember, honor, and celebrate her? Yes, you will think of her every day, but daily life’s demands get in the way and this specific day will stand out to remind you of her the most. You may spend it mildly by saying a special prayer for her maghfirat and bringing to mind her amazing qualities. Or you may indulge in it by cooking up dishes she enjoyed most and creating poetry/songs in her praise. 

You do these acts simply because your heart will want to sing of the love it possesses for her. 

How then will you ignore the heart’s yearning to display adoration for the man who gave you everything?

Let our future generations not forget such an esteemed personality as our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh):
-Read as much Durood Shareef as possible today.
-Keep a day’s fast if you can.


http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/prophet-birthday
http://islamicsupremecouncil.com/milad-un-nabi.htm

A Rough Patch

This morning was tough. My mom who teaches at Ali’s daycare has been out recovering from a health issue, normally he spends his mornings with her in her classroom and doesn’t look twice when I walk out the door. It’s been a difficult few weeks. Weeks that make me realize that having family nearby is SO vital to a positive well-being. Ali loves daycare, but lately he’s been clingy and I’m assuming it’s because now that he’s a 2 year old ‘big boy’ he’s going through a separation anxiety phase where I’m no longer out of sight out of mind. Adding to the fact that we’ve had two long weekends due to holidays where he got mommy overload have not helped.

Separation Anxiety has turned my usual cheerful, outgoing and social child into a bag of tears. Normally, he runs or skips his way through the daycare doors, mentioning the “bleeew” and “reddd” flowers outsides. This morning, he clung to me as we walked in, laying his head on my shoulder. He was not in the mood for his usual chatter, the only word he said was  a quiet plea for Nani as we neared his classroom; where I reminded him that Nani is at home, but he will have fun with Ms. Christine and his buddies today. He nervously took off his coat and gave me his pacifer to put away as Ms. Christine took out his breakfast. I sat him down, kissed his forehead and turned to leave when I heard ‘Ammiiiiii’ behind me. He was not ready to let me go. Oh boy. I sat with him for a bit, watching him eat his first few bites. As another parent walked in to drop off their child, I took this opportunity to make a quick exit. Hoping he wouldn’t notice my absence with the extra bodies crowding the small class room, I dashed out. As I heard the door click behind me I turned to see Ali rushing out of his seat after me wailing ‘Ammiiiiiii’. It wasn’t so much his cries, but the look on his face in that moment. Our eyes locked and the sheer look of having his heart broken, that look of betrayal and rejection was all over his face. Ugh just put dagger through my heart and give it a twist why don’t you? I could hear the cries as I signed the daily attendance sheet in the hallway. Fortunately, within a few short moments it was gone.

What makes this separation anxiety phase so difficult for me is that I remember going through it! I have a weirdly good memory, but I remember being about 2-3 years old and going to a babysitter all day while my mom went back to college for her Early Childhood degree. As an adult now, I realize my mom did something wonderful for herself and for our family, but as a toddler I was miserable all day. I was probably the easiest kid to babysit, because I wouldn’t move from the same spot on the sofa in front of the TV, I didn’t speak and barely ate. The only thing I really remember is being scared of another girl who came to the babysitter too, she was a little older and would push me around to play with her. I didn't want to be her friend, I just wanted my mommy and Pushy Girl's behavior clearly didn’t help my situation. This only lasted a short period I’m assuming, because I remember soon after going to my aunt’s during the day and really enjoying it. She was my mom’s younger sister, so it was like having the next best thing. She never yelled and I could play big sister to my baby cousin. But still, it was not my mom. Shortly after, my mom started working at a preschool and I would go with her. She taught an older age group, but knowing that my mom was in the classroom next door, it’s when my personality finally came out. I became social and enjoyed those drives to and from daycare with mom. Just me and her. Even later on when I was 5, my Dadi and Dada would take care of me before kindergarten. It was nice and gave me fond memories with them but, it was not my mom.

All a small child wants in this stage is his mom, his source of comfort and over whom he can reign freely. His Ammi. I am heartbroken that I cannot give my child that (except on weeknights and weekends). That he has to spend 10 hours, five days a week without me literally brings me to tears, because it as the one thing I also wanted as a young child and here I am doing the same to my own. 

Ali, if you are an adult reading this one day. Know that those days when you didn’t want Ammi to leave you, they were just as tough on her too. Know that when you cried as she shut the classroom door in your tiny adorable face, she got back into her car and gulped down tears of her own. Surah Ya Sin. That’s the surah Ammi had to listen to while driving to work. Because, my mom, your Nani, had told me that it is considered the Heart of the Quran, and the only thing to try mending my broken heart this morning was hearing recitations from the Heart itself.

Also, we must be thankful for all the kindness in our lives. We are lucky that Nani lives so close by we can visit her whenever we like, and soon she’ll be back at school with you. Know that Ms. Christine, like all your teachers will be inshAllah, is a wonderful caring woman who takes SUCH good care of you when I can’t be around and had a hand in shaping you into the man you are today. She was patient as you cried and comforted you when you felt sad. We must always find the positive in every difficult situation. We must find what is to be learned from it and how we can grow better from it.You are a strong and resilient boy, your teacher reassures me you play fine the rest of the day, those cries are soon forgotten. But there are those moments I worry that these memories will damage you. I fear it will create feelings of rejection and anxiety within you. I pray hard that they don’t make you resentful towards me or towards any future siblings who may take my attention away from you even more. I'm relying on the same hope my mother probably had, that one day you will grow up and realize why I had to do what I did, for the betterment of our family. And that it never ever meant that I love you any less.

 As a Muslim, we are taught that God loves us 70x more than a mother loves her children. I finally get it. The gravity of that notion. We selfishly demand God's attention, we fight with Him when he doesn't grant us what we want. We hold grudges for years and don't talk to Him. All because we are needy like a child and feel resentful that He deprived us of his love somehow, whether it be by denying us the things we desire or giving us difficult life situations to tackle. Becoming a mom grants a view from the other side of the lense. Everything comes full circle. 

Loving my child has taught me how to love God the way he deserves to be loved, because it allows me to understand Him. Knowing what it is to love selflessly, we cry when our child cries. Your pain is worse than any of my own. And, the pain of knowing that it is my actions which caused your tears, that is an injury I wish upon no one. But those tears shed are necessary to make successful, confident and sociable individuals who will one day repeat the same cycle. And hopefully, they too will know Him and what it is to love Him. 








 Motherhood Is Not For Sissies By Beilenson, Evelyn (Google Affiliate Ad)