Ramadan and Eid

Growing up I definitely wished I could celebrate Christmas like the rest of my school friends. Eid was fun, but it didn't seem nearly as exciting as Christmas did. So I decided to change that for my kids. My goal with doing all these holiday activities was to encourage my children to love their own culture and religion, without feeling left out during the holidays that others around them may celebrate. We have now been doing a Ramadan Advent Calendar for two year and my son absolutely loves it! Holidays should not be only about decorating and getting gifts they should also be about the importance of our values and belief in God. With each holiday I do emphasize why we celebrate what we do. During Ramadan we explain the importance of fasting, how it benefits our body and also gives us appreciation for those who may have less than we do on a normal basis. We talk about how fasting is not just for food but for keeping away from activities we should always avoid and to redirect our focus on prayer and love for God. On Eid we talk about traditions of prophet Muhammad pbuh: going for morning Eid salaat, wearing new clothes, handing out treats and spending time with our loved ones. For Eid ul Adha we discussed the story of prophet Ibrahim pbuh, how he trusted and was so devoted to Allah swt

Crafts and Activities: masjid coloring pages, crescent/star hanging ornaments, make your own tasbeeh (prayer beads), sheep cupcake decorating party
For Others: collecting toys for new refugee children in the community, writing Eid cards to our cousins far away and baking cookies to give on Eid namaaz to our friends nearby. My kids are still very young (5, 2 and under 1), but as they grow older I do hope to continue with more altruistic activities.
Family Traditions: Praying maghrib namaaz as a family and reading our favorite Islamic books before bed. Listening to nasheeds on Spotify by Dawud Wharnsby and Yusuf Islam during car rides to school. Watching Baba Ali and Zaki videos on youtube to learn manners and stories from the Quran.

Making holidays fun for the kids really doesn't have to be expensive or a lot of hard work. I found some affordable vendors who I purchased adorable decorations from, but I also made a few trips to Michaels/dollar stores to make our own as well. I probably spent the most amount on Islamic books, but to me that was worth the cost. A great way to save on that is to do a book exchange with friends every Friday. This way your children can get exposure to new reading material without having to spend a lot.

I hope you enjoy a glimpse below into our holiday traditions. I will do a new post soon to tell you our reviews of the reading material!

Our Ramadan Advent Calendar Goodie Bags. Kids can open one bag each evening counting down to Eid, filled with treats inside.

Our nightly reading selection in honor of Ramadan/Eid. 

using the Snapchat Filter to wish all her friends!

We are big on banners in our house. This was recycled from last year, it came in a DIY banner kit from Target

Keeping busy during the day doing activities per our Rafiq and Friends guide. Rafiq was our version of Elf on a Shelf this year. Loved the book and activity cards he came with. Super cute illustrations and engaging stories.

Praying with Baba before we break our fast for the day.

Kept the Pom Poms, swapped out the banner.  Using Sweet fajr lantern template and Imaginaryart Masjid Template

Onesie by JasmineandMarigold Skirt from Amazon

coloring Eid Cards to mail to our friends. Cards from GupshupGreetings

gifts wrapped and ready to be opened after Eid prayer

Eid favors for our friends, labels courtesy of my good friend over at Gupshup Greetings

Sheep shaped cookie cutter purchased via Etsy to bring these adorable Eid ul Adha cookies to life!

Eid Trifle for our Chand Raat party, yes I know the D is off centered. Its bothering me too! 

We attended a Make your Own Sheep cupcake party!

Masjid Ramadan coloring page via Imaginairyart

Ehsan

The below definition is taken from Wikipedia (which I know is not always accurate, but in this case I can say I read through it and can agree it is).

Ihsan (Arabic: إحسان‎), also spelled ehsan, is an Arabic term meaning "perfection" or "excellence" (Ara. husn). It is a matter of taking one's inner faith (iman) and showing it in both deed and action, a sense of social responsibility borne from religious convictions.^[1] In Islam, ihsan is the Muslim responsibility to obtain perfection, or excellence, in worship, such that Muslims try to worship God (Arabic Allah) as if they see Him, and although they cannot see Him (due to the belief that Allah is not made of matter), they undoubtedly believe that He is constantly watching over them. That definition comes from the Hadith of Gabriel in which Muhammad states, "[Ihsan is] to worship God as though you see Him, and if you cannot see Him, then indeed He sees you". (Al-Bukhari and Al-Muslim).^[2]

At a recent gathering I attended this word was mentioned and it really stuck with me. Something along the lines of 'God wants us to constantly strive to be perfect. All of his creation is perfect. Man he created perfect also, but we err and make mistakes so we must continuously work to return back to perfection. That's what He wants from us.' I really love this ideology. Probably because I'm a major perfectionist myself. But it just makes sense! As parents, don't we want our kids to be perfect? We know and accept that they won't always be. In fact we are well aware they will make mistakes and we will love them regardless. Their mistakes will never change the immensity of our love, no matter how badly your child wrongs you if he sincerely turns to you and asks for forgiveness you know you will grant it. So while we know they will inevitably do wrong, don't we strongly believe they're capable of doing better and wish to see them doing that? No parent thinks their child is just mediocre or tells them to be average. Yes, we do say its okay if you don't always succeed, but try try again right? We push them to work past tasks that they struggle with because more than themselves we have faith that they can do it.

Now, anything can be taken in a negative light, even perfection. If you become too harsh with enforcing perfection it can be overbearing. But I find that encouragement is key. This week I enrolled Ali into a summer camp program which has a heavy focus on literacy. He's only 3.5 and the rest of the children in his class are already 4 or older plus many have been attending the school all year long while Ali was home so I knew they had an edge over him. It's cute seeing my shorty among all the other kids, he may be small but he's got a ton of personality. I was aware he might struggle in some areas but in others he would be fine (verbal skills, this kid can talk your ear off!) but if I didn't push him towards excelling higher then we would never know what he's capable of. Week One was a great success. Not only did he cry because he didn't want to leave school (please let this continue forever), he's already recognizing sight words 'see' and 'the' and letter tracing has also been less of a struggle. I'm so proud of you Ali, I know you aren't perfect. Some people may tell me I'm biased as your mama but to me you always will be. This week, like always, to see that when I push you to achieve higher you always surpass my expectations fills my heart with so much joy that words cannot describe!

Ali, as you grow older you will realize quickly that your Ammi will constantly push you to be better, to be excellent. I will not stop telling you to think about your actions and words before you execute them. I will repetitively remind you to think of others, to share your things (toys and time being just a few of them) selflessly and to reflect on where you did something wrong and how it can be done better. I will appreciate you and cheer you on when you do succeed. I will also hug and console you when you don't. But I will not stop encouraging you to do everything you do with Ehsan. Be it reading and writing today, but over time you'll see you will want to do it in every aspect of your life.

We speak a lot about good vs bad in our house, you are well aware of Prophet Muhammad and often ask about how he dealt with people who were not nice. How he used prayers, 'talking to Allah' to be a good boy and to win over the bad guys. In life, there are lots of 'bad guys', I hope I can arm you with the right tools to overcome them. One aspect I want you to focus on is prayer. Perform your prayer with Ehsan. This is something that perpetually throughout life you will have to work towards, everyone struggles with it. Everyone has some basic staple prayers we say as we rush to complete our daily 5 prayers among the other million tasks we have to do in the day. 'Please keep my family safe and healthy. Forgive us for our mistakes and help guide us on the right path away from harm and evil." Sometimes we say them so mechanically we lose the essence of what we're saying. Try, try and try again to not let your prayers become mechanical, focus on each word you are saying and truly mean it. I realize now as an adult, God is well aware that we will lose the essence when we're doing this 5 times a day, we may even stop doing the obligatory five times because we let life's demands (or laziness) get in the way. He will love us and be merciful regardless of it. But it's our job to keep striving for Ehsan, nothing will bring Him more joy than to see that.

**Alert: this may get long**
Before I end, I want to take something off my chest that really irks me. I hope one day Ali, that it irks you too. Because if it does that means I did something right in my life. There is this word 'bidah' I kind of like hate it and I know I encourage you not to hate anything but in this case it gets really hard. Bidah means innovation/change, and there's this whole group who says you shouldn't do anything that may be a change from what the Prophet did himself. (there's good change and bad change, but for fear of deviating from the right path people want to avoid bidah overall. Yeah its complicated and there's a lot more to it, but that's it in a nutshell) While I understand their fear of our posterity veering off away from the fundamentals of our religion if we add in all these supplementals I feel they're driving a lot of us crazy with all their 'bidah police-ing'. And in fact, this 'bidah' calling has stopped a lot of people from going further in their devotion, it's like no one wants to get extra credit anymore.

For instance, today is the 15th of Shaban (Islamic month, also called 'Shab e Baraat') and my family for as long as I can remember has a tradition where we stay up late and do supplementary prayers on this night. We ask for forgiveness for our year of sins and for guidance for the year to come. My mom would make special food and after dinner we performed our individual prayers or read Quran but we sat together as a family in one room. It's a wonderful experience and there are only a handful of nights in the entire year where we did this. Our parents let us know that this was a supplemental special night and while it was not a requirement if we did this it would make Allah happy to see us doing more than what is required of us. Now I just can't for the life of me see why this 'innovation' is wrong! Why would God ever not want us to go above and beyond the basic requirements? What is so wrong with supplemental; in school doing extra credit assignments was always a good thing! I'm not going to argue whether the Prophet did or didn't do it or if there is evidence in the Quran regarding it. I'm just asking you to use logic to think about it deeper, instead of letting fear misconstrue your thoughts on it.

Ali, I will not be around forever and I know after I'm gone you will forget many things I've taught you or stop doing them the way I did. I will always tell you to look in your heart and ask yourself if what you are doing is something that would please Allah. Whether it's honoring Prophet Muhammad's birthday or certain days of the year like 15th Shaban and 10th of Ashura by staying up all night to do extra prayers or cooking up a special meal that day or holding a Quran khani (event where sections of Quran are read in a group setting often done at funerals or auspicious occasions). Yes, this is all supplemental, not required and I will always encourage you to perfect obligatory practices before you focus on the extra credit, but my point is that I don't want you to discount the extra as not being worth attempting at all. I hope I have taught you well enough so you are capable to know better. In fact, if I had to choose I would rather you do this than anything else this world is full of that keeps you away from praying. Prayer is just a form to remember Allah, to truly love Him as He should be. So perfect your prayers, do them with ehsan and soon you will find that your heart will seek all ways to stay in constant remembrance of Him.

(Yes, that last bit is the Rumi loving, Sufi soul side of your mama!)

Finding the right balance

With a 3 year old son who's newly graduated from toddlerhood to potty trained preschooler (he's still at home for now), I've found us in a situation most parents can relate to. How to discipline your child. In my struggle, a topic has been on my mind a lot lately. The balance between love and fear. I searched quite a bit about the relationship of love and fear. Many hold the view that love and fear cannot coexist together, that love is a part of our higher self while fear is from our lower self which prevents us from reaching further.

It's a pretty basic concept and it does make sense to a degree. Our fears usually are what transcend into hatred/prejudice and often they hold us back from doing things we may have aspired to achieve. Love, on the other hand is seen as the good guy, the one that allows us to be open minded, to take risks, and to move beyond all the struggle. As a parent, I do want to teach my son love; kind generous love, unconditional love, all sorts of love. But at the same time, I'm not totally bought over about making fear into a bad guy.

Afterall, in the Quran the image of a Fearful God is presented just as much as a Loving God. It's weird though, isn't it? How can we fear someone we love? I think that's the tricky part. Finding the right balance. If we did not have fear, we would commit actions with reckless abandon. A part of human nature needs to have inhibitions in order to maintain some sort of order. Fear gives us structure, guidelines. I tell Ali the stove is extremely hot and not only should he be afraid of the injury it can cause, but also he will be severely punished if he does not obey my rules to stay away from it. I take his safety seriously, even if he is too young to understand that concept yet. It's the same with humans, religion (God, essentially) warns us of punishments for  our actions in order to protect our well being even if we may not always understand it. Too much of fear is what becomes the problem. If all we do is fear God without learning to love him then he becomes a tyrannical monster so controlling that it terrorizes our sense of self and leads people to shy away from religion. Similarly, parents who are too strict often have children who rebel from authority. If they don't rebel then they become so fearful of their actions that they aren't able to make strong, bold decisions on their own. Because, they're too focused on pleasing someone else all the time (someone else being their parents in most cases). Balance. That's what it all comes down to.

Even with love, we need a balance. Every parent does love his or her children unconditionally, nearly all our actions are motivated by our endless love for these tiny beings. Tiny beings who will one day become big beings, even if that day seems so far away. If we only teach them love then we're depriving them of skills they will desperately need to lead a successful life. Every parent wants to be the good guy, they want to be their child's best friend and to have a close bond. No one needs to be told how to love, it's pretty self explanatory. But the thing is, as a parent if I give into every whim and want of my child out of my love for him I'm enabling a self indulgent, egotistical person. Up until his toddler years, yes it makes sense to indulge in the needs/wants of a child because they are solely dependent on you to provide for them. But, once they reach the age of talking, walking and self expression their personality is forming the foundation of the adult they will one day become. I just don't agree with the notion that I should let him be independent, carefree and behave however he wishes to encourage his growth. Kids need to know that you are the parent and they are the child, this early understanding of roles is crucial. I'm not saying that children should not be given responsibilities or allowed to explore with their own self expression. But kids just like adults, need boundaries. The sooner we learn to accept boundaries the simpler life becomes. Myself included, we all struggle with self control. Self control is a trait which if mastered can make a person highly successful and satisfied in life. So why not try and feed our children little bites of self control instead of self indulgence?

For example, teaching him that he needs to be patient. Teaching this to a 3 year old is probably the hardest task ever. And it inevitably happens that your child will nag you about something most passionately when you are at the end of your rope. This is generally the moment where you are most likely to give in. But what does your child learn from that situation if you do? They learn how to manipulate people who love them to give into their demands. It seems so minor now when all the kid wants is a lollipop. But before you know it that same 3 year old turns into a 30 year old who never learned that life is not always going to go how they want it when they want it. Or it could be, if they keep using love as a way to manipulate others. And that is the biggest misuse of love I could ever imagine.

Check out this article by Times and the famous Marshmallow test to see research on Self Control.

Love and Fear, like day and night, yin and yang. We spend our lives trying to balance them. And perhaps, all those philosophers are probably right. Love is truly the higher self, the part of our being we hope to one day achieve. But we cannot make it up that staircase without a little fear, we must accept that part of our self too. To use it when it's necessary. 

"Sabr" pronounced like "summer" but with a B.

Arabic/Urdu for 'Patience'.

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never runs out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.” - 40 Rules of Love, Elif Shafaq

I find myself constantly reminding my two-year-old to wait,  "sabr". He's always asking me for things, usually 'needing' them immediately. And sometimes I just can't give them to him, because for one reason or another it's not available right away. I'm trying so hard to teach him that he can't always have things how he wants them when he wants them, but I just learned a real life lesson on it myself.

I had a bit of a health scare and all I could do was wait it out. I was in a lot of pain, going through different tests and all I could do was wait for those results to come in and tell me that everything was normal, yet the hardest thing for me was the physical pain (which was pretty bad!) but the agony of waiting.

Sometimes when we're being told to wait it feels as if we're being punished for doing something wrong. We don't understand what it is we did to deserve this and why we are having to suffer a punishment. The reality is that we're not being scolded or disciplined. We are simply being taught a lesson that we really need to learn and that is, in my case, to be patient.

I was taught (yet again) that you MUST have faith above all. Have faith that things are meant for a reason and they will occur as they are destined. As much as you stress, fret, and agonize nothing will change the outcome. So, learn to do your best and then leave it up to fate.

It's been a tough couple of weeks. Funny thing is it feels like a century since my husband has been gone, but in reality it's only been two months and this month sure has felt extremely long.

 Remember that chronic worrier girl I talked about earlier? She had been back big time. I was getting impatient and ungrateful. I was focused on everything being so negative. How upset I was about all the change to come in my life and how lonely I felt without my husband. I worried that I had so much to get done and yet felt nothing was progressing. I was totally not appreciating having my family nearby to make things easier. This experience taught me how much I seriously MUST value all the loving people I have in my life. Additionally, I learned that I have an extremely difficult time asking for help. I also learned that I don’t always consciously know when I’m stressed out, but stress and my body have a terrible relationship.

It wasn't even the part of being a full-time working mother to an energetic toddler trying handling all the single-parent duties. Nor was it about trying to sell all our furniture and items or researching apartments in our new town OR contacting movers and setting up meetings to get an estimate.

It was truly just the suffering of being impatient and allowing myself to become frustrated at everything not  progressing as I wanted it to that affected my health. It is pretty amazing how when we are not strong internally our body reflects it externally, leaving us no choice but to slow down and focus on what is most important.

Before all that happened, I remember thinking how spiritually distant I felt and I actually had a moment where I thought to myself ‘God I promise I’m going to fix this when I have time; once I’m done w this crazy period in life I’ll make more effort to get back that spiritual mojo, but right now I just can’t focus on it. I've got too much going on’. WELL, God had some other plans. 

I was reminded to have faith that God is on your side. He sometimes tests you and pushes you to your limit and inevitably that happens when you think you least need it. Truth is, it happens because you need it pretty bad.  I was forced to stay home, to rest, and to ask for help. During those horrible days of waiting for test results where I couldn't tell my family, because I didn't want to worry them unnecessarily I reconnected with an old friend who helped me in so many ways she will never know. We were both going through some difficult moments and the irony of how we were brought together at a time when we could support of each other was amazing. We both encouraged each other to have faith. 

Life will never be void of it's troubles, everyone has their own. You cannot wait for the perfect moment to find time for your soul. Especially as you grow older, more and more responsibilities demand your attention, grabbing you away. Find even small bits to feed your soul each day; to be thankful, to be aware of His immensity and know that you run on His time. He does not run on yours. Acknowledge that you and your troubles are only a small portion of the immensity.

via Tumblr

I forgot to mention that Ramadan started a midst all this change. With everything going on Ali hasn't been his usual self either. Since iftar time is so late, he's going to bed later than his usual bedtime and he's also missing his father a lot; all of which leads to him being clingy, cranky and putting up a fight about pretty much everything. Again, it isn't always easy. I'm learning easy just isn't in the books for me right now. And that is okay, but when I do encounter moments of 'easy' I am quick to say a silent thank you. We've wrapped up our apartment and our last few weeks in NJ are being spent at my parents. I am really enjoying being home with my family, plus Ali loves the constant attention from his Nani Nana and Khala. And while I sometimes can't help worry that they're spoiling him rotten (lol they really are!), the way I see it he's building some of the best memories of his childhood right now. Memories he will grow up and cherish, possibly when the people in those memories may be very far away. :( So I've been tired, lacking food, sleep and energy. But the best part of all this struggle during Ramadan is that the one thing I'm not lacking is spirit.

 I Eat Pork During Ramadan Light T-Shirt (Google Affiliate Ad)
Ramadan Mubarak Rectangle Magnet (Google Affiliate Ad) 

Rumi's Love Poetry

In honor of the day coming up soon when I celebrate my Love, here are a few short poems from the man whose poetry drew me towards Divine Love.

In the Arc of Your Mallet- Rumi from The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks

Rumi: The Big Red Book... Love

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/coleman-barks/rumi-and-some-new-ways-to_b_777382.html

Happy (almost) Birthday, Wajih. No words can ever describe what you mean to me. You are my everything. <3 nbsp="" p="">


 I Love You A-Latte! Valentine'S Day Gift Basket (Google Affiliate Ad)
Lenox True Love 2-Pc. Dessert Set (Google Affiliate Ad)
Rumi: The Book of Love: Poems of Ecstasy and Longing by Barks, Coleman (Google Affiliate Ad)

Eid Milad un Nabi Mubarak!

In an authentic hadith from both Bukhari and Muslim, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you believes until he loves me more than he loves his children, his parents, and all people.”

In another Bukhari hadith he said: “None of you believes until he loves me more than he loves himself” and Sayyidina `Umar said: “O Prophet, I love you more than myself.”

We shower with love our children, parents and ourselves at every birthday, how can we not honor our Beloved Nabi on the day of his birth? 

After your mother’s death will you forget her birthday or death anniversary? For all that she taught you and all that she gave you, will you not take this day to remember, honor, and celebrate her? Yes, you will think of her every day, but daily life’s demands get in the way and this specific day will stand out to remind you of her the most. You may spend it mildly by saying a special prayer for her maghfirat and bringing to mind her amazing qualities. Or you may indulge in it by cooking up dishes she enjoyed most and creating poetry/songs in her praise. 

You do these acts simply because your heart will want to sing of the love it possesses for her. 

How then will you ignore the heart’s yearning to display adoration for the man who gave you everything?

Let our future generations not forget such an esteemed personality as our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh):
-Read as much Durood Shareef as possible today.
-Keep a day’s fast if you can.


http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/prophet-birthday
http://islamicsupremecouncil.com/milad-un-nabi.htm

101 Questions for Muslim couples to ask before marriage

This is a excellent questionnaire for all Muslim couples looking to find out more about one another before taking the big leap. It covers pretty much all the bases: children, finances, hobbies, health, goals, past relationships, and religious beliefs.

My husband and I filled it out part jokingly when we first met 6 years ago, but it was a nice exercise to see the other person’s reaction to questions. Even if he jokes about most of the awkward questions, it is interesting to see what he has to say and how he says it; like if he takes things lightheartedly or if he’s dead serious about topics.

We were both pleased to find that our views on a lot of major important issues aligned pretty well. And the funny thing is, the few things he mentioned on here that I didn't like about him, 6 years later I still don’t! (Honey, if you are reading this then you know I love you not in spite of those things, but because of it all!!!) 
Who knew this questionnaire would actually share so much about our personalities, I never would have guessed! Although plenty of these answers you can gauge from conversation (or Facebook stalking), there are still things which don’t always come up so it’s nice to get them out in the open. I mean, how are you casually supposed to ask a guy if he’s into polygamy or if he’s down with getting checked to see that he hasn't spent his college days spreading around STDs.

Of course this isn't something you would send out to every guy you meet without seeming a bit ‘hypercritical’, but it’s a helpful tool to gain insight on someone you’re seriously considering as a prospect for marriage. Try nonchalantly mentioning it to someone you’ve  been talking to for a few weeks/months, and get an idea from the conversation it sparks. Who knows maybe like us 6 years later, you'll be laughing about the things you wrote down, it makes for a great item to add to your wedding keepsake that's for sure!

I know this has many religious questions that apply to Muslims only, but contact me if you’re interested and I’ll send you the Word file so you can add/revise questions to suit you!

A useful prelude would be ‘I saw the most interesting thing on Pinterest today……’

(my husband can tell you that’s pretty much how I start all conversations he loves hearing. Right, babe?!)

 

 Double click on the images to enlarge.

Proud To Be A Muslim Islam hoodie (Google Affiliate Ad) 

To the citizens of Self.

There’s this part of me, this self-absorbed materialistic part that so badly would love to own a classic quilted lambskin Chanel 2.55 bag. Do you know how much this bag costs? It’s insane. The sad part is, I can afford it. Not even a second hand from eBay but a real one, without making a significant dent in my saving either. Isn’t it crazy? There are people in this world lacking basic necessities and I am able to sit here and spend my time mulling over what handbag I would love to have next.

The simple fact that these luxuries exist and they create desires in the common person to possess them baffles me. Baffle. My husband laughs, but I tell him how sometimes when I sit and think about the world we live in I’m simply baffled. There is no better way to describe it.

Relating to this topic, I’ve started watching this HumTV drama Shehr-e-Zaat (I believe it means City of Self). Initially I thought why am I bothering? I could not in the least bit relate to the protagonist, a pretentious girl from a wealthy family who is a fine arts student in college. She finds a guy who looks exactly like the sculpture she’s been making and falls madly (when I say madly, I mean like cuckoo for cocoa puffs kind of mad) in love with him. She has never been like this before, usually it’s her that is being pursued all the time and now she’s stalking down this guy, meanwhile he is not all that fazed by her. She’s even got this ‘Boy next door’ buddy who’s head over heels for her, but she’s too much in love with Sculpture Guy to pay him any mind. The show is still running, but so far she gets Sculpture Guy to marry her, he (inevitably) cheats on her with a far less attractive girl (he has his own issues, we won’t go there). Which now leaves her in a state of anxiety, questioning her entire existence as this is first catastrophic event to ever occur in her life. She’s having major epiphanies of how self-obsessed she’s been all her life. She’s finding herself turning towards religion and spirituality in hopes to right all her wrongs. Think of it sort of as a Pakistani version of Eat, Pray, Love so there are impeccably deep dialogues, serious religious references and can’t fail to mention some amazing wardrobes.

I’m a fairly level headed individual (most days), who never quite traveled down that whole crazy fanatic in love path. So, I couldn’t really relate to this character for the first 6-10 episodes of the show when she’s going gaga over this guy. But now, as her character has moments of self-reflection, they’ve really incorporated some great dialogues. These are moments we all go through, because we all have an ugly materialistic monster inside of us who craves all the worldly luxuries or who gets too caught up in the petty things, but we also have a compassionate side. A side who can’t justify paying a month’s salary on something that’s meant to carry our crap around when that could buy food, clothing, education for a year in some parts of the world.

I hope what this show does is hit home with the upper class youth in Pakistan (that is where this TV series is airing), because they are living SO closely to all the poverty, famine, and destitution yet many of them have closed up their eyes, hearts and minds to that reality which exists a few miles away from their gated communities.  Inside their lavish homes they have created a bubble untouched by the reality outside. They have air conditioning, flat screen TVs, and the women are shopping.. ALL THE TIME.  Yet, just step out to a common bazaar and there are beggars everywhere. Young and old. Maybe the upper class has become numb to it, because they see it so often and partly because they have to in order to go about life. But that doesn’t make it right. The low income population of that country has turned into a business for those with power and money, manipulating them or just treating them as subhuman. I’m not saying the youth of Pakistan needs to go out and shower the poor with wealth. Just stop spending their time and money on their own selves and think for a moment about the bigger picture. How all this self-serving really never fulfills us internally.

I’m not blaming Pakistani youth alone, the entire global society has become self-interested. We care only about our needs and wants all the time. And the truth is, those ‘needs’ will never stop. As long as you lust for the worldly treasures you could worship it but it will never be yours. It will only leave you wanting more. But I’m focusing on the adolescents here, because that is the prime period of our lives when we are so passionate about everything. We think we’re passionately in love with the boy in our math class, we zealously hate our mom’s for never letting us have a social life, we’re extremely eager about fitting in with the crowd, but mostly about discovering who we are.Take that passion and channel it towards something of true value. Use your time and prosperity seeking out more gratifying things than nabbing the latest Lawn prints before everyone else. Trust me, your grown up self will appreciate the years of self-therapy and soul searching you saved.

Did you see what youth in other parts of the world was capable of? How they were able to overthrow tyrants and rulers, because they stopped thinking about how difficult it would be for them to fight the oppressor and they channeled all their energy towards actions which would improve the lives of so many others. O.T.H.E.R.S.