Wednesday, April 08, 2009


You know what I will probably never understand about human beings? There are quite a few things actually. How we are so capable of making monumental mistakes and not learning from them. Or how about how we can be such self consumed beings so intensely focused on our own trials and tribulations when a simple click of the TV remote can show us how much the world outside of ours is suffering immensely. I just don't get it. I am no perfect human being, far far FAR from it. I know my struggles with selfishness, how two parallel ends of me tussle to pull me towards their opposing desires and how often I give into the darker one. I know how often I let Pessimist Sania overwhelm Sane Sania with fears, insecurities and doubt but you know I think there's a deeper logic behind Pessimistic Sania. She grew out of an Optimist who saw the ugly side of this world, a side who was let down; proven time and time again that certain situations and certain people will always be there to bring you down. But even still, I know fair well that Pessimist Sania is not someone I want to be entirely. However, there are other people I see in this world who seem so dead set on making these perpetual mistakes, of hurting others and of failing miserably at what they claim to aspire at, and you know why? Because of one word. S E L F. They are reckless in their actions and words, they may have quit wits and sharp minds but they manage to utilize it in the most negative and unproductive manners. It saddens me to see this, I don't write about them to backbite or insult but because I feel enraged and frustrated with how such people CONTINUALLY do this to themselves and others.

I just look at these people, their lives, actions, upbringing, and experiences (at least the ones I'm aware of) and then I attempt to put on my psychologist's glasses to understand how they were shaped into who they are today. I cant help but feel that a lot of it has to do with nature and but at the same time personalities are greatly molded by experience too. So what was it that made these people so selfish? It's easy to suggest that media and society are the culprits, since the entire generation of this era is brainwashed to believe that we cannot breathe without cell phones/text messages and learns traditional values from reality television. Maybe partially responsible but not fully. I think selfish desires have existed long before modern society n technology, We do what we please because we have a right to. that much I agree with. But when those acts are outside a boundary of respect for others and religion it becomes harder and harder to justify them. These selfish children grow up into selfish adults and I just can't take them anymore.

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