Thursday, December 27, 2012
Happy Birthday Prince Ali!
I apologize in advance to all future siblings of Ali, because although I am certain I will love the rest of you one day as much as I do him, right now this little man completely owns my heart.
Sometimes I tell your dad learning to love him was easy, it didn't change me like I thought it might. But, loving Ali has transformed me. It's the kind of love that tests you, breaks you, the kind you completely must surrender to as that is the only way to experience it entirely. It is Motherhood.
The first year of your life was spent in a whirlwind. I think most of the year I walked around in a dark gloomy sleep deprived place wondering why I was coping so terribly with motherhood when it was something I wanted to experience forever. The fact alone that I was using words like 'coping' for motherhood was bizarre, I always imagined it being described as 'celebrating' or 'enjoying' but not this. I had such a happy time carrying this little ball of cuteness inside of me, but why was I so miserable now? Needless to say, It was not a fun time for me. Ali, you definitely challenged me in ways I did not know. Raising you pushed me to become a better person, to quite my complaining about how difficult this task is and instead throw myself into it with both feet.
Now I can use words like celebrate, thrive, enjoy to describe what it is I experience with you in my life. And it's not because raising you became easier this year (you colored my carpet blue this week and rubbed Goldfish cracker mush on it last week, no it definitely has not gotten easier!). But this year, I changed my own prospective on motherhood. I knew it was not going to get any better if I continued down the path I was headed, and so I constantly remind myself that God has blessed me with an amazing healthy active child who I could completely destroy if I did not fix my attitude. I have made it my goal to enjoy every single moment of your life. We've spent this year teaching you the ABC's, 123's, colors, animals, words, and nursery rhymes. Meanwhile, you spent this year teaching us so much more!
Recently a very evil thing happened in the world we live in, where small little angels were killed and taken away from their parents. These sort of things happen in the world we live in all the time now apparently, but this time it was very close to home. That day I hugged you so tightly when I got home and cried a lot, because I knew that I am a lucky Ammi for having you in my life. I wish I could protect you from all the evil this world knows, but I cannot. Instead, I will enjoy every bit of your creative, adventurous, generous, loving nature and hopefully teach you the traits of a strong, kind, caring man by loving you selflessly and unconditionally. So that one day you can grow up to be a father who also will experience this kind of love.
Today you are two, but I pray that you live to be 98 more with each year better than the last. May all the universe's happiness be yours. Always remember to say Please, Thank you and Alhumdulillah. And never be fooled to think that you are too old to rest your head on your mother's lap, you will never outgrow it.
My Prince Ali, today we celebrate you!