Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day!

Although last year was my first official Mother's Day and I did get the same treatment again (sleeping in late followed by breakfast in bed), this year felt quite special. Ali came running into the room in full effect shouting "Ammmmmiiiiiiiii", stopping just short of banging into the bed with a huge smile on his face. That smile which always melts my heart. Last Mother's day he was about 5 months old, and even though he was interactive with the giggles and smiles, it wasn't the same kind of display of affection I get now. This year I got "made at daycare" mothers day artwork to add to the mementos box, in addition to lots of smoochy kisses as we devoured the delicious pancakes made by Baba. (I must add the pancakes were from scratch, not from the box! I do love how my better half is pretty skilled in the kitchen.)

I was in love with him the moment life changed when he was handed to me at the hospital, but as time goes by my little ball of cuteness is turning into a real person with his own personality! A personality I love a little more each time it shines through. I love him more than I ever thought possible. Thinking about him sometimes makes me cry. In fact writing this makes me cry. (I'm such a sap now, being a mom does this!!) But  there are definitely days he drives me absolutely nuts! There are moments I have thought to myself, why couldn't I have an easy child?! Why couldn't I have a child who didn't throw up in doctor's offices from crying so much (he hates the doctor!) or a child who didn't get sick every month thus avoiding doctor visits at all! Why couldn't I have an easy child  who quietly watched TV or played with a toy and didn't wreak havoc so I could cook a meal/read a book/talk to a friend in peace. I began to understand the moms who behave negatively towards their kids, because of the feelings they harbor in their hearts of unfulfilled dreams or life before this chaos. I get why they do it. But I have also seen what it does to the kids. It's not his fault. He didn't ask to be born, I made that choice. I cannot blame him for my unfulfilled ambitions or inability to cope with unhappy parenting moments. I cannot expect to be given a child of a certain nature. I can work with it, I can try to improve it. But I cannot blame him. I must look past the negativity.

I came across something on Facebook recently.   It was a picture of  three girls in wheel chairs, their mom had posted the picture on some company's Facebook page to win votes to get new wheelchairs. They have MPS, a rare genetic disorder. (learn more about them and the disease here HOW could I be ungrateful for my overall HEALTHY child. How could I be so frustrated over sleepless nights when this mother probably goes through SO SO SO much worse. She doesn't just have one child not two but three with this horrible disease. And on the website it said  one of their sons is also autistic. Can you imagine her life? I literally burst out crying when I saw this. It was almost as if  I was getting all the answers to my questions. This is why you gave up a  high paying job. You have a HEALTHY, HAPPY child who occasionally does give you a hard time. He is a picky eater and horrible sleeper but you know he has a bright future ahead of him, unlike these girls who have a disease that usually ends in fatality at a young age. He needs you to love and coddle him and enjoy his every crazy action, because life is brief and all the money in the world could not buy you the happiness and warmth he brings to your heart. Be. Grateful.

Wishing every mom a wonderful Mother's day! <3

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