Stuff

" Experience is 1% of the things that happen to you and 99% of how you react to them"


Everything is built by how you perceive it. There are good experiences and there are bad ones, what carries weight is how the situation is dealt with.

Seriously???

"We do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know, nothing is worse than missing the opportunity that could have changed your life. "- a different smartypants surgeon

Opportunity has been knocking, I think I'll finally open the door.

Pressure

Pressure..its constantly building and it sure takes a lot out of you...sometimes life feels as though you are constantly struggling to reduce the amount of obligations and requirements demanded of you. To check one thing off the list so you can have one less thing left to do. But the list is endless, so then why are we rushing? Constraints of time and the urgency of the moment makes us feel as though we are facing a point of no return, where we must choose or die. That sounds pretty drastic, but yea thats how it feels sometimes. Faced with pressure, with the demands of everything else that must be done, and the daily naggings to add on top its a wonder that most of call ourselves sane human beings. But at the end of the day, it all does get done...the project is handed in, the paper is written, the exam gets taken, the body gets fed, the brain gets to sleep, the heart aches, it all happens just in the nick of time. So the best way to really maintain your sanity is to focus on all the non pressuring parts of life...to drive slowly even if you have somewhere to be, to close your eyes for just a second longer, to breath in just a little bit deeper and to thank god just a little more for everything that is still standing. Sabr, we all lack it so intensely...or maybe I just do....but then that must be my test, to find the sabr to deal with it all and take each struggle with stride.

Tap on my window...

"too often the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have...but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most...are those who dont know what they want."-the smartypants surgeon I love watching on TV



...knock on my door

Economic breakdown

Economics-The study of fulfilling unlimited needs (or wants) through means of limited resources.

There is not a single being on this earth in deficit of desires. Every person is driven towards some form of goal due to their wishes, hopes, and dreams. Also, to achieve needs/wants, people are willing to pay the price for it. But don't forget, unlimited desires using limited resources. So, somewhere along the way certain desires simply cannot and are not fulfilled.

It wouldn't be wrong to suggest changing the definition of economics to the definition of life. Watch any film, read any novel, or listen to any song. What do the major plot themes have in common? Someone is pining after something, they either can't get it thus causing much distress (and drama) or are elated that they've got it. The difference lies in that most forms of theater and art relate the desire to love. But I'll spare you my thoughts on that topic...

SO, Whatcha gonna do now that you've got this "need" that must be satisfied? You chose. Choices are everything in economics. America makes great choices regarding its political policies and business strategies, leading it through the gates of success and world domination. On the other hand, [insert any other country here] makes not so wise decisions on foreign diplomacy and production tactics, thus ranking itself low among the big boys (or just boy in the case of our present global scenario). Quick reactions and strong wits are the essentials of winning this race.

Did I say race? Yessir. Because, the more desirable an object the more intense competition you can expect to face. Basically, not only do you have to possess the ability to make correct decisions, but you have got to make them fast!

This can be quite the dilemma. With so much demand and such little supply, someone is bound to be left shorthanded..So, what becomes of the losers? Most of the time, we settle... we settle for what is reasonable and attainable and we give up on those farfetched thoughts that cloud our minds...But, if you're hell bent on this so called need, then my only advice is:

Don't giving up. The $1080 Dior bag shall be yours some day.

Belonging

Have you ever wondered where you really belong? In this vast universe where there are so many niches and corners where could you find comfort? We seek that feeling where you'd chose to be in just one spot rather than anywhere else. And it might not even be a geographic location, more of a personal sort of security. Sometimes it feels as though we search all our lives for that sense of belonging. We might even believe we found it once or twice, but before we can be certain of its existence it always escapes us.

It's all really a matter of choice..you choose where you will belong.

Spring of my freshman year I took Islamic Philosophy with crazy prof. Morewedge. And on the 2 days of that entire semester where he gave a serious lecture, I felt like I learned about this whole other world, a supposed part of my religion that I never even knew existed. Most of it was the theories of "Islamic" philosophers and men of intellect. They weren't firm on following the obligatory practices, but their theories were an inspirational thought. They all spoke of this unconditional love for god, where no generic form of prayer was essential. Where the lover was lost in the search and adoration of their object of desire. They were these crazy sufi mystics who wanted to find oneness with god, they believed that god was so divine that from his glory the world was created and greatness emanated into the world, creating the soul of each man. And the purpose of each soul was to return to its ultimate source, The Truth. Yeah, for a good while I was confident that these men were doped up on hashish and opium when they wrote their passionate proclamations, but to some degree it made sense...

we all search for something, somewhere, someone where we can feel completely at ease; to feel entirely confident that this is where we belong. Where we can feel complete. The pressures and hectic moments of life are of no meaning, they are simply details in a mirage we walk though as we look for what is real. And I think for me that sufi ideology was so powerful because I never felt I could find that sense of security in this life or in this world so this whole theory really hit home.

Yes its true, I wanted to become a sufi mystic at that point. I thought of nothing more fulfilling than to spend my time twirling around in circles praising the lord all day. Of course, I soon realized that the mystics barely had any means of income and spent their lives truly very devoted in the love for god. so much that they had no need of things like money,a house, cars, food, clothing...and the pleasures of this duniya firmly placed my feet back on the ground... like all good dreams, we always land on our beds with the nice THUD of reality.

While the sufi thought is a beautiful ideal in itself...it doesnt have to be the only option to finding my belonging. obligatory practices are one way to go. we whine and pout about them because they limit all the faltoo bakwas we'd rather indulge in...yet time and time again i find that the only place i let go of all thought, the only place where i can be so calm that its almost as if i have escaped my own being...the only time i can feel like everything makes sense... is at the janamaz.

Things That Bother Me

There are very few things that bother me, or at least that's what I used to believe. As I starting thinking more about it though, it seemed like the list is quite long. It might just be that I'm being too critical, or perhaps it's because I'm just riding in a rough patch of life right now. Whatever the case may be, these little things about the world and its inhabitors are testing my tolerance ..and certain things I cannot stand at all, beyond the point of irritation into abhorrence. So here is my list for everything I can think of that I don't like or maybe even just makes me a little peeved.


-rootbeer..yuck.

-how when we were little our best friends changed every year, because we didnt have classes together with the old friends anymore..but now when we're older, it still happens because people are just too careless to want to keep up with meaningful relationships...or maybe they really aren't so meaningful afterall....and I guess more than being a bother that just hurts...so I'm not talking about that anymore.

-radishes

-squirrels

-when one side of my umberella breaks and it sort of droops, letting all the rain in.


-lauki. No idea what it is in English, but its a paki vegetable and I hate it.

-flaming gay men...I work with one..he sits behind me..I want to put a muzzle on him every time he opens his mouth.

- people who are wayy too public about their lives on things like facebook and friendster..its like shut up you aren't Paris hilton so stop wishing you were...stop trying to pretend that you are cool by posting a million pictures of you and your lamer friends because you are only proving (besides knowing how to do really good eye makeup) that you're all pretty much useless in life.

-when my contacts stick to my eyes

-traffic jams

-mean cops

when my heel gets stuck in the cracks in the sidewalk on livingston.. I  hate that campus..this should've been a separate line.

-livingston campus. now it is.

-anal professors that take their jobs entirely too seriously.

-never being home for dinner. it's the worst.

-how everyone cares that Madonna adopted an African kid and no one focused on the matter that so many kids in this world are orphan and need to be adopted.

-how Halloween is just not the same once you grow up.

-having to make life altering decisions...it's so not fun....at all..

-uncertainty...now that I can confidently say I HATE.

-cramps

-incompetence

-feeling like you're struggling only to get nowhere

-licorice

-thursdays...and sundays...and mondays..I could keep going.

-sound of my alarm clock

-when I wait all week for it and it ends up being a rerun


-waking up at the buttcrack of dawn



list ends now...I'm too lazy to think of what more can possibly bother me.