Friday, May 23, 2014

Thirty six

Jummah Mubarak! (Happy Friday!) 
Yesterday marked the start of my 9th month of being a preggo eggo. Making it to the 36 weeks mark is a moment of mixed emotions. 

Being in the final stretch of this journey is exciting. You are SO close to holding your little chubster cheeked cutie pie you've waited forever to see! But, at the same time you are so exhausted from just being huge that (as you face palm yourself) all you can think is "man, seriously another 4 weeks of this to go?!?" Being 36 wks/full term means your baby could come any time now, and for those few lucky women who do delivery early this is great. You're truly at the finish line. For the rest of us (majority women deliver right around their due date if not passed), it is just false hope that the Braxton hicks we've been feeling for awhile maybe the real deal. 

I usually try real hard to see the positive side of things and through out this pregnancy the hubs even noted I was much less 'complainy', more energetic and on my feet than the first time around. I admit I'm of the fortunate bunch who doesn't have a terrible pregnancy, plus second time around you're just better prepared for what's to come. I'm lucky to have no major nausea or fatigue passed the first trimester and mostly all other symptoms are mild so I can ignore them or remind myself of the blessings they bring with them. I was actually proud of myself, I was rolling with the punches pretty well this time! I hadn't gained nearly as much weight as I did with my first pregnancy, reminding myself that indulging in cravings will only bite my flabby behind later helped. Even the terrible leg cramps at 4 am didn't bother me as much as my first pregnancy; just jump out of bed walk on it then go pee for the 40th time and roll back to sleep. It was a routine I accepted as motherhood's many 'perks'. 

Yet, last week when I hit 35 weeks it was like suddenly pregnancy reality came flying at me in full force. Maybe not having husband around (out of town for work) all week made it worst, or maybe my extremely energetic 3 year old and his hoards of toys contributed to it. Suddenly, the heart burn came on strong no matter what I ate just as the Braxton hicks intensified, making every possible position an uncomfortable one. I hadn't been able to breath out my nose all pregnancy, but now with a cantelope sitting on my lungs jabbing at my ribs, breathing truly was a difficult task. Meanwhile my back was totally screaming in pain to the point that I cursed the floor for being so damn far every time I had to bend and pick up yet another Lego/superman/McQueen off the ground. Even my ankles had swollen up a great deal, which isn't painful as much as it is annoying due to a constant pins and needles feeling. By the end of the week I was literally D.O.N.E.! 

Then I opened up a pack of girls scout cookies, laughed at my misery (yes motherhood is amazing, life changing and it's the best thing I ever did blah blah. All of that is very true, but right now I am just beyond tired). I reminded myself that once this ball which is currently crushing all of my insides does come outside everything will be better (better is a word I use loosely, newborns are NO joke). I then snooped around in the Mommy to Be forums on my What to Expect app which helped me feel better as I found the humor in the misery we are all sharing. So, I though I would share some of the memes the ladies posted for those of you who may not be in this boat with us. A taste of what it feels like to be a 'nothing-in-my-goddamn-closet-fits-over-this-beach-ball-except-a-tent-hormonal-preggo-eggo': 


Your baby might be the size of a cantelope, but YOU feel more like a beluga whale! 


That list... It's like whyyy are they purposely forcing us to see the wonderful things we're trying so hard to ignore all day errday? I'm not a frequent user of the phrase 'FML', but looking at it that's all I can think. (Except that extra energy part. Really who has it? Can you please share? Pretty please??)

When everyone keeps asking you the annoying question of 'how are you feeling?' And you so badly want to respond with the above answer. 

True story. 

I literally laughed out loud when I saw this, laughed then cried because this is my reality. All I want to do is veg out on the sofa to rest my achy back, but then I remember the struggle called 'getting up'. And get up I will have to because like clockwork every 30 mins is a pee break! 

Thankfully no one has tried this on me, I might have to punch them out if they do. I know it's difficult not to poke at a protruding object but really, can we not make preggos feel more like zoo animals than they already do?!


Totes ready. 

Need I say more?