Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Closure

Ever thought you wanted something...wanted it pretty bad? Did it bother you when you couldn't understand what made it so special that you even needed it in the first place..but then it bothered you more that you couldn't have it? And perhaps you got pretty damn close to even achieving it...pretty close..but not enough... that must have been the worst..no? that sense of failure, or feeling like the world just plain sucks because you can never seem to get what you want or that God is just a mean kid who likes playing jokes on you...

Often what happens is we do get what we want, just not how we want it... like when we're 17 and we all want a car.. we'll get a car.. but not the super cute acura rsx that the freakin bimbo chick is driving (or the even hotter bmw that the spoiled rich kid has, which you so deserve more than him), but no,we get a nice reliable corolla instead...life has its way with things, and there ain't a whole lot you can do about it...so you suck it up and drive the dinky corolla everyday and are never thankful that you at least have a car at 17 while the rest of the world is riding the big yellow bus or better yet, getting driven by mommy dear...and you forget about that thing you'd been hoping for.

Even though you might not say it, secretly, deep inside you still keep praying that some day the thing you've always been hoping for will come true..Time will pass..life will move on. and so will you...and then one day unexpectedly one of three things will happen:

1. You will get what you wanted and things will be great.

2. you will get what you wanted and things will suck, you wish you had never asked for this..whaaat were you thinkingggg?? (in which case you are a fool and an ungrateful one at that...but, hey.. aren't we all?)

3. You don't get what you want, but you find something that will bring you back to it and all the memories/emotions attached to it that you pretty much had forgot about..and you will realize that you were faaaar better off not having it. That this was never meant for you, had you only understood that earlier you wouldn't have spent so long pining for it. Well, maybe there was a reason it took you so long to get over it too..maybe all that wishful hoping has changed you..hopefully for the better..it has made you wiser and thankful for what you do have. You now understand that only God knows the reasons behind why things happen (or don't) and only time will tell you them........... Sometimes, it's nice to reflect on things and be happy with what you don't have.