I've got my hands full.

I've been absent for the last few months and I promise I have good reason for it. First of all I can't believe Adam is already 5 months old! When Ali was a baby, it felt like time was flying and this time around it literally feels like we're zooming. The summer was very busy to say the least. First, it was Ramadan where eating and sleeping schedules are all off (also, Adam was a newborn and we were literally not sleeping at all). Soon after that ended we went a 20 Hour Road trip to Chicago to attend my cousin's wedding, which was a ton of fun and really great as the whole family got to meet Adam, but it was also extremely exhausting! Imagine a week full of wedding events with a cranky colicky newborn and Ali who would not stop partying like a 20-year-old, running on a week of no naps. Then not even a week after our return Wajih's family arrived for a family reunion. Since everyone was gathering after many years we had tons of things we wanted to do. Including roadtrips to Miami, New Jersey, and multiple ones to Orlando; all with a baby who can't stand the sight of his car seat. Learning the ropes with two children takes some time but I didn't anticipate how chaotic it could actually get. Most of the madness was because we tried to keep going with our own plans and expected the kids to adjust accordingly. If there's anything to know about children it's that they hate change more than grown-ups do and they sure let you know it! 

So basically our life has been off routine, hectic and tiring for the past 4 1/2 months and just finally starting to settle down. The best part of all the chaos was how quickly time passed! We were sleep deprived, exhausted and constantly on the go but it was over before we could even realize it. Also, I had a ton of help with everyone around. Man I miss the help! Now that it's just me and the boys, many of my days are spent where my hands are literally so full. 

It's funny how having two hands was never something I thought I took for granted until now. Many moments are spent with one hand feeding Adam a bottle while the other helps Ali get dressed. I can now proudly write on my resume that I am an expert at preparing bottles, pushing strollers, driving, texting and changing diapers all with one hand.

Adam, you pretty much take up most of my days activities. If I'm not holding you or having you use me as a trampoline, together we have staring contests to see who will cave first into a fit of giggles. 

I'll admit before you were born I was a little afraid whether it was possible to love anyone as much as I love Ali because my heart was so full of love for your older brother. Everyone who had more children reassured me it was totally possible yet I wasn't convinced. Then you entered the scene and my love has not just grown but multiplied times a million!

It's like I can't keep track of my heart anymore. Sometimes you can find it in the tiny fists that you try fitting in your mouth. Other days it's in the strings of drool that slip out of your shy smile. I think I've seen it hiding between the rolls of your thighs or possibly those of your neck, I can never be sure. And the way you grab onto your feet, your mom couldn't love anything more than a baby who has just discovered how to play with his toes! Your endless babbling and loud giggles possess magic to melt my heart right on the spot. If I had to pick just one, it would be the way your smile lights up and your eyes sparkle with delight when your brother plays with you, that causes my little heart to swell right up. 

You know I had a feeling my heart was in for it when Ali was born, but now with you here too I know for sure the poor thing doesn't stand a chance. He's a goner. 

As full as my hands and days are right now, I make it a point to relish in moments more than I ever did before. IE: Two days ago after we dropped Ali to preschool, I put you in the stroller and went shopping. It was a blissful 30 minutes where you slept and I had both hands free to shop and both eyes to take in my surroundings. Not occupied by keeping track of a restless 3 yr old or cries of a baby, my eyes caught sight a beautiful monarch butterfly dancing from flower to flower. I thought for a moment to pull out my phone and capture this occurrence. Then I told myself no, some moments are best captured in our memories not our camera rolls. Same goes for my memories with you both, I'm trying hard to capture them in my heart before they fly off. Hopefully one day when you look back upon them you will treasure them just the same.